『Ep 447 How to Parent an Adult Child Who’s Stuck, with Kim and Tom Muench』のカバーアート

Ep 447 How to Parent an Adult Child Who’s Stuck, with Kim and Tom Muench

Ep 447 How to Parent an Adult Child Who’s Stuck, with Kim and Tom Muench

無料で聴く

ポッドキャストの詳細を見る
Zach sits down with Kim and Tom Muench, married 34 years and parents of five kids who range in age from 21 to 39. Their story started before they did. Their parents were close friends who lived in side-by-side townhomes, Tom once babysat Kim and her younger brothers, and teenage Kim mostly thought of him as a dork. Years later, Kim moved in next door with her 3-year-old son, Nick, needed a date to her company Christmas party, and asked Tom. Six months later they were engaged. Tom’s careful plan (house in two years, baby two years after that) collapsed into a single year.From there, the conversation turns to how two very different parents raised five kids across three decades. Kim was 18 when she had Nick and 36 when she had Mia, their youngest, and she’s candid that she was a different parent each time. She read the books and chose to break from how she was raised: being grounded constantly as a teenager, she says, only taught her to lie until she could get out of the house. Tom was the provider and, by his own account, “the heavy,” the dad who said if you want a car, you get a job. They’re honest about the hardest stretch, too: rules that didn’t match between their house and Nick’s dad’s house, Tom knowing Nick was taking their liquor while Kim believed her son, and the call at 20 when Nick told her he couldn’t remember the last three days. Nick is 39 now and working his way back after a hard year, and Kim reflects on how different it is to face that with an adult than with a 21-year-old.The back half belongs to Kim’s work. Her book, Lost in Place, is a guide for parents of 18 to 30 year olds who aren’t becoming independent. She chose that phrase over “failure to launch” because if you’re lost, you can be found. She lays out the three things parents still control, her four Cs, and why this moment is so hard: screens, a generation that never socially recovered from COVID, high-potency marijuana, and parents who swung so far toward protecting their kids’ feelings that they can’t tolerate their own anxiety. If you’ve ever assumed parenting gets easier once they grow up, this episode resets that expectation and gives you a place to start.Key TakeawaysLittle kids are physically exhausting. Adult kids are mentally exhausting, because whatever illusion of control you had is gone.With an adult child, you control three things: how you show up, what you’re willing to provide, and how you respond to their choices.Stop trying to get someone else to do something. Focus on what you control, and the needle starts to move, slowly.Kim’s four Cs for showing up: clarity, calm, confidence, and consistency.Parenting from fear smells like control to your kids, and it breeds disconnection. Lead instead of control.If you want your adult child to follow through, model follow-through. Kids notice when your words and actions don’t match.Punishment can teach the wrong lesson. Kim’s constant groundings taught her to lie, so she never grounded her own kids.Two different parenting styles can work when you each know your lane and agree on the core values. In Tom’s words, “the same book, maybe a different chapter once in a while.”Guest InfoKim Muench (pronounced “Minch”)Certified parent coach (Jai Institute for Parenting, 2016) and founder of Real Life Parent Guide, based in Flower Mound, TexasCoaches parents of emerging adults, roughly 18 to 30, on communication, boundaries, and rebuilding trust, especially when mental health or substance use is involvedAuthor of Lost in Place: How to Support, Motivate, and Launch an Adult Child, and the memoir Becoming Me While Raising You: A Mother’s Journey to Her Self (2021)Runs a parent support group that meets twice a week, plus private coaching sessionsWebsite: https://www.reallifeparentguide.com/Instagram and TikTok: @kimmuenchparentcoachTom MuenchKim’s husband of 34 years and franchise partner at Expedia Cruises Flower Mound since 2017, after leaving corporate salesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
adbl_web_anon_alc_button_suppression_t1
まだレビューはありません