『EP 103: How a Marriage Slowly Chips Away at Who You Are — Mia Hanks on Narcissistic Abuse』のカバーアート

EP 103: How a Marriage Slowly Chips Away at Who You Are — Mia Hanks on Narcissistic Abuse

EP 103: How a Marriage Slowly Chips Away at Who You Are — Mia Hanks on Narcissistic Abuse

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10月19日まで。※適用条件あり
After 29 years of marriage, Mia Hanks began to see the relationship differently when a couples' therapist told her she couldn't help her husband—and he left believing he'd "won" therapy. On That's Where I'm At, Mia shares how she slowly recognized the control and self-doubt beneath the surface, why fear and financial dependence made leaving complicated, and how she ultimately found a way out of the marriage to a covert narcissist. In 2024, Mia published her award-winning memoir, Bride-Made, which chronicles her journey from being groomed by a narcissist to recognizing the toxic relationship, escaping, and reclaiming her self-worth. She also discusses her husband's threats of self-harm, frightening behavior behind the wheel, and the money she says was hidden during their divorce. Today, Mia is passionate about raising awareness of narcissistic abuse and helping other survivors find their voices, rebuild their confidence, and begin their own journeys toward healing. Key Topics & Timestamps Mia's memoir and its purpose (00:00:00) Mia explains how her memoir portrays the subtle, gradual erosion of identity in a relationship with a narcissist. Podcast introduction and content warning (00:00:34) Laura introduces the show's focus on sharing stories of abuse and healing; listeners are cautioned about potentially triggering subjects. Introducing Mia and her memoir (00:01:32) Laura welcomes Mia, describing her 29-year marriage, escape, and award-winning memoir, Bride Maid. Why Mia chose to share her story (00:02:53) Mia discusses discovering narcissistic abuse and hoping her story helps others recognize they can leave. Financial control and barriers to leaving (00:04:51) Mia and Laura discuss restricted access to money, legal costs, and financial challenges during divorce. How abuse undermines confidence (00:09:08) They describe feeling incapable after years of criticism, along with the hope and trauma bond that can keep someone attached. Mia's gradual realization and couples therapy (00:12:52) Mia recalls recognizing the relationship was unhealthy and a therapist confronting her husband's lack of self-awareness. Private therapy and validation to leave (00:18:40) Mia secretly consults the therapist, who validates her concerns and encourages her to leave safely. Finding the opportunity to leave (00:19:54) Mia explains how deteriorating health, adult children, and selling the family home helped her decide to leave. Separation, divorce, and retaliation (00:22:18) Mia describes moving in with her parents, her husband's changing behavior, and his efforts to leave her financially vulnerable. Breadcrumbs, guilt, and emotional blackmail (00:28:42) They discuss promises to draw a partner back, guilt about leaving, and threats of self-harm as emotional manipulation. Threats, safety, and physical intimidation (00:31:12) Mia describes a gun-related threat; they discuss taking threats seriously and recognizing dangerous behaviors. Erratic driving and unpredictable outbursts (00:34:05) Mia and Laura reflect on reckless driving, intimidation, and how minor incidents can trigger frightening reactions. Peace after leaving and divorce finances (00:36:50) Mia explains choosing peace over a fair financial settlement; Laura shares lessons about legal representation and hidden assets. Mia's memoirs and healing journey (00:42:28) Mia describes her first memoir about life with a narcissist and a follow-up about recovery. Raising awareness and finding support (00:43:18) Mia discusses her books, social media, speaking, and the importance of trauma-informed support. Closing and where to find Mia (00:46:01) Laura thanks Mia, shares her website and book information, and asks listeners to review and support the podcast. Podcast sign-off (00:47:15) Laura thanks listeners and invites them to share feedback and return for the next episode. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Mia, "It's not every day [that] there are big dramatic things. It's just the little things, the little chipping away at who you are—and what that looks like from the inside." Mia, "The door's open. I mean, I can walk out that door any time, but it's all of the mental stuff." Mia, "I just need to take a mental break. I'm going to go stay with my parents for a while and clear my head. Days turned to weeks, turned to months, and I didn't come back." Laura, "They have trained us to feel bad for any decisions we're making that would involve us. The first thing I thought when I walked into the bedroom after saying I wanted a divorce was, 'Oh my God, I hope he doesn't get mad at me.'" Mia, "I walked away from a lot of money. But now I have peace, and you can't put a price tag on peace." RESOURCES: FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/ INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://...
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