After diligently raising her children in the church and conservative Christianity, Regan was shocked when her son Jonas confessed to not believing in the existence of God. Regan discusses how she saw proper Christian parenting as a step-by-step process that guaranteed the perseverance of her children's faith. The shift in her son's faith made it difficult for Regan to watch other Christian parents send their kids off on missions trips or marry their kids to other young Christians.

We discuss Regan's journey leaving an abusive church, trusting a new community, and the developmental appropriateness of questioning belief during adolescence. She highlights the importance of retaining a loving and supportive relationship with her children, irrespective of their religious beliefs. Regan shares honestly about how her own faith has been challenged and refined as she navigates these realities.

Topics we discuss:

- Parenting

- Conservative Christianity

- Homeschooling

- Atheism

- Views on hell

- Eastern Orthodoxy

- Spiritual and church abuse

- Child development

- Leaving room for mystery in faith

- Importance of safe community

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Contact Pat: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM

New Substack for the podcast! https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57

Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast

New Substack for the podcast! https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57

Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast

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When Marianne was 21 years old, she started dating, Tony, the man of her dreams. Initially smitten and deeply infatuated, she thought of him constantly. Then nine months into the relationship, these feelings began to fade and Marianne experienced intense emotional turmoil, leading her to question the nature of love and her connection with Tony. It affected her so deeply that she couldn't eat or sleep.

Marianne talks about how society has idolized romantic love and elevated it to a godlike status, expecting it to fulfill our every need. Doubt is not presented as a normal part of relationships but rather a sign that something is wrong. Through resources like Cheryl Paul's work on relationship anxiety, Marianne discovered that love is more about action and commitment rather than just feelings. She learned that love is a choice to commit to someone even when it's difficult.

Marianne's podcast about fantasy books: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AmfNU6P3iINRmE2x3uAgS?si=MNhfRqfkS8eEotCh4B4F8Q

Marianne's newly published children's book about children of immigrant parents: https://www.amazon.com/Came-Here-You-Marianne-Boules/dp/1662953585

Topics we discuss:

- Relationship anxiety

- Infatuation stage of a relationship

- Romantic love versus real love

- Love as a choice

- Elizabeth Gilbert's book "Eat, Pray, Love"

- Hozier's song "Take Me to Church"

- Romantic love as a deity in culture

- Doubt as a normal part of relationships

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Contact Pat: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM

I created a new Substack for the podcast! It was time to revive my 2008 blogging skills. My first article is about my own "I Used to Think..." journey. Check it out here: https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57

Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast

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Guy assumed there would be a day where he finally felt complete as a person. Looking back, he realized that instead, life is a journey of moments of completion. I talk with Guy about the concepts of growth, maturity, and the journey towards personal completion. We explore metaphors like lighthouses and skyscrapers to illustrate the differences between internal transformation and external appearances. We talk about our childhood perceptions of adulthood and evolving understandings of what it means to be complete. Guy shares the importance of recognizing life milestones of "completion" such as becoming a parent for the first time. We also delve into the importance of self-awareness and the invaluable role of mentors and spiritual guidance in navigating the ongoing journey of personal growth.

Contact Pat:

DM me on Instagram! @iusedtothinkpodcast

Email: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM

Chris started his first business when he was 19 years old. He worked hard at sustaining the business but lacked the experience and community he needed. By the time he was 21 years old, Chris had two failed business attempts under his belt. He tried going to college but realized it was not for him. Life felt bleak for Chris. In this episode, Chris walks us through his career journey, from dropping out of college to starting his own business - for the third time. Chris learned the value of working various jobs, even those he felt miserable in. He gained confidence as he received job offers despite not having a college degree. He also found a creative outlet through music production with his friend Keith. Chris talks about the importance of having the right network of people around him who can encourage him and keep him humble. He talks about his wife, Jen, and how meaningful her support has been for him as an entrepreneur.

Topics We Discuss:

• Whether college is for everyone
• Entrepreneurship
• Overcoming failure
• Being passionate about what you are working on
• Assessing risk
• Learning from criticism
• Music production
• Creativity
• Board games
• Having a supportive spouse/partner
• Surrounding yourself with good people
• Southern California traffic

Chris' LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/itschrisnguyen

AfterGate Studios: Instagram @aftergatestudios

Transcript for this episode: https://share.descript.com/view/VRWR2x73Ay8

Contact Pat:

DM me on Instagram! @iusedtothinkpodcast

Email: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM

When it came to the dating scene in high school, Keith was the "nice" guy - he would develop a friendship with a girl but never make a move. His fear of rejection and overall lack of social awareness led to heartbreak as he watched his seven year long crush slip away and eventually date another person. Out of desperation, Keith went on the Internet and looked up: "how to get out of the friend zone". He stumbled across an online community of pick-up artists, who offered advice on how to appear attractive to women - some of it unhelpful, and some of it helpful. He began to try different techniques, doing his best to implement them in a way that was authentic and fit his personality.

Keith talks about having freedom of outcome and not being needy in a relationship. He breaks down what is means to be a man of your purpose, being a man of freedom, and being grounded. He talks about giving value in a relationship by making sure your own "cup" is full before you try to connect with someone. He even gives proven tips on how to create a more effective online dating profile.

Topics We Discuss:

• Dating in high school and college
• Getting out of the friendzone
• Online pick-up artist communities
• Being authentic
• "Pinging"
• Dating culture today
• Freedom of outcome
• Being a man of purpose
• Being grounded
• Being a man of freedom
• Not being needy
• Building your own kingdom
• How to create an attractive online dating profile

Contact Pat: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM

DM me on Instagram! @iusedtothinkpodcast

Our friend Rickey takes a life changing trip to Japan. We ask him about his expectations beforehand and document his reactions throughout the trip.

Topics we discuss:

- What is best convenience store in Japan?

- What is your impression of the Japanese people?

- Best food in Japan

- The amazing toilets in Japan

- Animal cafe experience

- Japanese marketing and advertisements

- Difference between Japanese and American fashion

Reach out to Pat:

PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM

In 2018, Tori was on the path to becoming a full-time missionary when the story broke that John Allen Chau, an young American missionary, was killed off the coast of North Sentinel Island by indigenous people he was trying to evangelize. Chau was determined to reach the island even though it was strictly off limits to all outsiders. This event gained global attention and greatly disturbed Tori. She began a journey of doubt and an unraveling of her worldview. In this episode we discuss the following topics:

• Discovering faith by reading books written by atheists
• Is it possible to be a Christian and not have certainty about God's existence?
• How should Christians evangelize, keeping in mind Christianity's historical connection to colonialism?
• What are other ways the Gospel can be presented other than Jesus dying for sins?
• Does being a Christian simply mean assenting to a list religious concepts?
• Practicing Christianity because it leads to human flourishing, not because it makes sense intellectually
• The difference between what Gen-Z is looking for in Christianity and what past generations looked for

References:

• "The Mission" documentary about Chau by National Geographic (https://films.nationalgeographic.com/the-mission)
• The God Delusion book by famous atheist Richard Dawkins (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_God_Delusion)
• "This Cultural Moment" podcast (https://open.spotify.com/show/5vc4AILCeO1HDAQV8jE8J4)
• Surprised by Hope book by theologian N.T. Wright (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2319645.Surprised_by_Hope)

Contact Pat:

DM me on Instagram! @iusedtothinkpodcast

Email: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM

Angela consistently found herself in positions of leadership throughout her life. From leading ministries at church, to becoming head pastor while working as the Executive Director for a non-profit. But when birthdays and holidays rolled around each year, she looked around and realized that that no one truly knew the real Angela.

Angela talks with us about how leadership can be isolating by nature and the importance of developing authentic friendships with people who recognize your value apart from your work.

The podcast's new Facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/iusedtothinkpodcast/

Discover more about Harambee Ministries:

https://www.harambeeministries.org/

Give to Harambee: https://harambeeministriesca-bloom.kindful.com/?campaign=1274146

About Angela Lee:

Angela Lee is a native East Coast kid but is happy to now call California home. Angela resides in Pasadena with her husband Paul, her 13-year-old bonus daughter Lizzie, 4-year-old, Justise (pronounced “justice”), and 3 year old, Ayla (like Kayla). Angela graduated from the University of Delaware with her degree in Human Services with a concentration in Clinical Services. She went on and applied her passion for youth by working with as a Counselor with Communities in Schools, Education Director for the Boys & Girls Club, and a Program Director for YMCA of Metropolitan Dallas.

Angela has served in ministry, bi-vocationally at first, and eventually full time for the last 13 years. In 2015, she moved to California to serve as a Junior High Pastor at Saddleback Church and in 2017 moved on to a Pastoral Position at Fellowship Monrovia where she has served and preached the last 6 years.

In January 2022, Angela responded to the call to neighborhood ministry which led her to now also serving as Executive Director at Harambee Ministries in Northwest Pasadena.

Angela’s family is bold and diverse with her father who is African American and her mother who is Puerto Rican. She is the oldest of four children and credits her parents for fostering her love for others and her strong commitment to service. Since being charged, by God, with raising Justise and Ayla, Angela has been inspired to continue her journey into racial justice and reconciliation and what it means to raise Black/Puerto Rican/Korean girls in America amidst the current cultural climate. She is a wife, mom, sister, pastor, preacher, friend, surviving on coffee and Peloton rides. She’s the most excited to add her newest title, “Auntie & Godmother” to her newest nephew in Minnesota.

Angela is passionate about Jesus, people, mental health, justice, reconciliation, Disneyland, and yummy food.

Transcript for this episode: https://share.descript.com/view/cOP4yabQrZd