The ultimate guide to retail rivalries, digital snobbery, and faking your way to a better discount. 📰🛒

In this 30-minute episode, comedian Kelly Morton dives headfirst into headlines of the USA Today newspaper he gets delivered to his house.

We are also breaking down why Costco shoppers look down on Sam's Club, the ridiculous war between iPhone and Android users, and the secret art of fake-canceling your subscriptions to bully corporations into a better deal.

We also expose the gross reality of how often people actually wash their bedding, Gen Z’s resurrection of the shopping mall, and why Kohl's basically became a glorified Amazon return desk.

Hit play, and let's find out why everyone ELSE is the problem.

Episode Markers:

(00:00) Intro & The USA Today Rant

(04:35) The Costco vs. Sam's Club Hierarchy

(08:30) iPhone Snobs & Android Peasants

(11:15) Dog Rescue Drones

(12:35) USA Today Comes to My House

(17:15) How to Fake Cancel for Cheaper Deals

(20:35) The Gross Truth About Washing Your Bedding

(22:55) Malls, Dillards is a Front, Kohl's is an Amazon Return Center

(29:35) Wrap Up

As if plucked right out of the thin night air, this radio-style sound will engage you from In to Out.

How a U.S. Navy battleship galley shaped the modern drive-thru lane. 🌍⚓️As Memorial Day approaches, Kelly Morton delivers a special radio-style broadcast in memoriam of the heroes who gave everything. Today, we step into a fast-food time machine to uncover how military-surplus technology and a lone teenage heiress preserved an American empire. Pull into the lane, share the lore, and thank a veteran for the moment.

This sketch will make you laugh out loud and think, "So true...so true." Thank you for subscribing!

World leaders fake-live coverage and the future of humanity.

Comedian Kelly Morton discusses and performs the absurdity of dignitary meetings before getting semi-serious about where AI is actually taking you. An episode that will make you laugh and make you ponder.

(00:00) Intro and Banter

(04:58) Royal Meet-ups (Comedy)

(10:40) AI is Comin' fo yo job (semi-serious)

In this Follower Favorite we bring you a tale of suspense and a reveal you won't see coming.

Recorded and presented with radio style and audio, this episode is designed to captivate and keep you guessing until the very end like it were plucked right out of the thin night air on a long, lonely drive.

It’s storytelling and radio nostalgia. You'll love it. Thank you for subscribing!

The U.S. Forest Service budget cuts just got personal. 🐻🚫 In this "Show Cast Snackable," we break the leaked audio of Smokey Bear being deported.🦝It’s a ridiculous character comedy sketch that takes a satirical look at government spending and the chaos that happens when icons get the boot.

🐱 Follow for more Snackables, Munchables, great chats, and character sketches!

In this "Follower Favorite," we bring you an emotional tale and a reveal you won't see coming.

Recorded and presented with radio style audio, this episode is designed to captivate and keep you guessing until the very end like it were plucked right out of the thin night air on a long, lonely drive.

It’s radio nostalgia. You'll love it.

Follow for more to come and thank you for listening.

Everyone else is the problem - today, it’s the trucks and the toilets. 🛻🚽

In this episode, we break down the logic of Hybrid cars vs the ego of "big ass truck" people.

Also, the butt hole squirting thing in your friends toilet.

Thank you for listening!

(00:00) Intro Funny Banter

(03:00) Want Cheap Gas? You can't have it both ways

(12:15) A Gifted Butt Hole Squirting Machine