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ever found out you weren't in your best friend's wedding the same way her dentist found out? from the grid? and then LIKED the post?? babe.

ep 52 is bestie breakups vol. 3 — the language edition. lose a boyfriend and everyone shows up: the wine, the playlist, somebody covers your shift. lose a best friend of fifteen years and… nothing. not even a word for what she is now. so we wrote the dictionary ourselves: the group chat graveyard (a gif from october, sitting there like a tombstone). the gift-shop friendship (two women exchanging thumbs up across the void). the friend who disappeared and the apology she's been drafting for three years. and seven robes on the grid, none of them hers.

send me your friendship breakups: ihearyoubabepod@gmail.com. everything's anonymous, always.

full-time feeler, part-time hater. let's get into it 🍋

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ep 51 is the mental gymnastics episode — the full olympic floor routine your brain runs to make his behavior make sense. this week: a situationship texts "happy birthday" and she convenes a four-person panel about it (the committee was compromised. the committee wanted to believe). a man who's "just bad at texting" posts his lunch AND an introvert meme mid-ignore (the irony). a girlie builds her boyfriend an alibi — in heels, at her own award night — and nearly loses it at the cheese table. a 1am google doc with sections, built to prove the red flags don't apply to her situation (babe, you gave your denial a header). and a nine-years closer about how loud the defending was, and how quiet it gets after.

next week: friendship breakups. there's no language for them, so we're writing it. send yours: ihearyoubabepod@gmail.com

full-time feeler, part-time hater. let's get into it 🍋

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fifty. FIFTY episodes. who let me. (nobody. that's the problem.)

so for the milestone i did the one thing you should never do — i listened to episode one on the bus. it sounds like i recorded it in a tin can at the bottom of a pool during a thunderstorm and at one point i call a situationship "a journey." i had to pause it. a man looked at me.

but it cracked something open, so episode 50 is a REUNION. no new emails. i tracked down the legends and asked them all one question: where are you now. the long test drive who bought a car (a good one). the woman who decorated the red flag and finally took the good knives. the bestie breakup that became a museum. the one who went dark and came back to say "i made it out. hi." the marriage saved at the dishwasher. and the closer that wrecked me — my very FIRST email, episode one, still here, still listening.

plus: a lightning round, a little hall of fame, my Chelsea Piers gym membership (i'm not a member, i'm a top-tier donor), and the impulse control of a raccoon. i'm in my cunt era. sorry not sorry.

you built this show. there's no episode without the inbox. so this one's for you.

🍕 next week: “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” — the mental gymnastics episode. every story you tell yourself to stay, every no-win trap. follow so it hits your feed monday.

full-time feeler, part-time hater 🍋 let's get into it

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okay so i found out the knicks won the championship because my whole neighborhood erupted at midnight and i genuinely thought it was gunfire. that's the episode. that's also the prompt.

because this week is about your GUT — the times you JUST knew. no logic, no proof, your body just stood up and called it. the first date who bragged "i don't really read" (her soul left the restaurant before she did). the friend who opened with "no offense but" (the trailer for the whole movie). the apartment you knew in four seconds. the haircut you knew was wrong mid-scissor and still TIPPED for. and the big one every girlie needs — how to tell your gut from your fear, because one buzzes and one's the quiet drop. i go deep on that one.

plus: vito the maine coon is officially my 401k, somebody got rich off projector futures last night, and to whoever set the bus on fire — what did the bus do to you? we need that bus on monday.

your gut is undefeated. start believing her on the first try, not the fourth.

full-time feeler, part-time hater. let's get into it 🍋

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okay so i lost my shoe to the rain on the way to the train and had to crawl back for it in front of god and everyone. that's just the open. that's not even the episode.

it's summer, it's a sweaty 95, the girlies are out here with our coochies out, and you sent me everything that should be illegal about a nyc summer. the backpack man who clears a whole train car with one turn. the rooftop dj with a fog machine and FOUR songs who thinks he's headlining coachella. the garbage soup with steam coming off it. a 9-hour "beach day" that was 7 hours of the A train and one sunburn stripe (we'd do it again, obviously). the mystery drip from the AC unit that lands on your tongue and ends your whole life. the girl reclining on the subway pole like it's lumbar support (you absolute villain).

also a real one — a night-shift nurse sad about a summer thing she "wasn't supposed" to catch feelings for. and me, derailing for ten minutes about my $50 amazon fan (changed my life, not sponsored, will die on this hill) and how my 8-month-old maine coon is going to be my 401k.

it's a hang. group therapy with no AC. all girlies, every walk of nyc life, same suffering.

full-time feeler, part-time hater. send your crimes to ihearyoubabepod@gmail.com 🍋

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okay so who owes you an apology? because i made a list and it's basically every man i've ever dated.

this is the apology episode. and yet — no apology. the sorry you're still waiting for. the one that came five years too late and fixed nothing. "i'm sorry you feel that way," which is not an apology, it's a knife in the shape of one. the boss who apologized to the whole team except the one person he actually wronged (her. it's always her). and the apology you owe yourself for staying way too long.

plus schrilla the killa wants kim k as her lawyer because she only wears skims, and i witnessed the saddest corporate event in america at dinner — new jersey's finest racing to make the 9:40 to penn.

then the closer. how do you grieve an apology when the only person who could give it is already gone.

full-time feeler, part-time hater. let's get into it. 🍋

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the back half of the inbox. a husband who became a running stat, a Carly-coded shit crappens (the lamb, IYKYK), a 62-year-old still waiting to hear "i love you" from her brother, and a closer that lands on actual hope — the woman who finally met a man who answers questions.

plus: 50 and rainy, and the Aunt Diane documentary that colonized my brain.

ihearyoubabepod@gmail.com 🍋

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why are men…

i did not raise these men but here i am, full-time translator. a man wore patti smith's face to a date and didn't know her name. another wore cargo shorts to a french bistro. one mid-act in murray hill said "ravishing" — with vibrato.

also: the pentagon is now the "department of war." the white house emailed a reporter an alien emoji. a family in vegas filed a 911 report on a 10-foot non-human entity in their backyard.

we close on the hardest version of the question — a divorced mom watching her ex-husband become dad of the year six months after the marriage ended.

this is part one. part two next week.

ihearyoubabepod@gmail.com 🍋⚖️

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