Rule 4: Breathe.

This is the chapter that's aged the best. Ten years ago I wrote a whole chapter about breathing without having the language for nervous system regulation. I didn't know what I was teaching. I just knew it worked.

When I wrote this, I was talking about stress, and sharing what had happened in the years after my divorce. I thought I was someone who didn't let things bother me. I told everyone I was fine. What I now know is that I was in the freeze response. I was very good at numbing.

Ten years on, this is where I start with every single client who lies on my table. The breath is the doorway. Everything else, the fascia work, the lymphatic drainage, the Reiki, all of it walks you through the door the breath has opened.

If you're a first-born daughter carrying decades of holding it together, breath alone isn't going to be enough. But it's where the work begins. In my 2026 reflections at the end, I talk about what's stored in the body when we've been in survival mode for years, and what it takes to release it.

The full audiobook is available on all the audiobook platforms if you want to jump ahead, or you can get the paperback here: https://amzn.to/4Aw5F6w and the workbook that goes with it here: https://amzn.to/4hfqg63. The exercises are where the real work happens. The exercises need to be done, not just listened to.

As always, I would love to hear from you, what you get out of each chapter, any insights, any thoughts.

www.iamjenwilson.com

www.instagram.com/iam.jenwilson

www.facebook.com/iamjenwilson

www.youtube.com/iamjenwilson

This is the chapter about self-sabotage. Ten years ago I wrote it using food and diets as the example because nearly every woman I've ever worked with recognises herself in it. The Monday morning that starts with the best intentions and ends with a bottle of wine and a family bag of crisps by Friday.

Ten years on, I'd add this: self-sabotage isn't a character flaw. It's an old protection strategy that's outlived its usefulness. Your body was trying to keep you safe. It just doesn't know the danger has passed.

For the first-born daughters, the fixers, the ones who hold everything together, self-sabotage often shows up as running yourself into the ground and then reaching for the quick fix. Food. Wine. A scroll. A shop. Anything to take the edge off.

In my 2026 reflections at the end of this chapter, I talk about why you can't think your way out of self-sabotage when your nervous system is in fight-or-flight. Regulation first, then the patterns can shift.

The full audiobook is available on all the audiobook platforms if you want to jump ahead, or you can get the paperback here: https://amzn.to/4Aw5F6w and the workbook that goes with it here: https://amzn.to/4hfqg63. The exercises are where the real work happens. The exercises need to be done, not just listened to.

As always, I would love to hear from you, what you get out of each chapter, any insights, any thoughts.

www.iamjenwilson.com

www.instagram.com/iam.jenwilson

www.facebook.com/iamjenwilson

www.youtube.com/iamjenwilson

Rule 2: Dreams & goals, know what you want.

Ten years ago I wrote this chapter from the middle of my own reinvention. I'd just walked away from a 13-year career in the travel industry and was building something new from scratch. I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew what I wanted.

Most of the women I work with now have forgotten what they want. They've been wanting things for everyone else for so long that when I ask what THEY want, they can't answer. If that's you, this chapter is for you.

This is where goal setting stops being a corporate exercise and starts being an act of coming back to yourself. The dream worksheets in this chapter still work. They're the same ones I use with clients today.

At the end I share my 2026 reflections on why dreaming is a nervous system function, and why you can't access what you want when you're stuck in survival mode.

The full audiobook is available on all the audiobook platforms if you want to jump ahead, or you can get the paperback here: https://amzn.to/4Aw5F6w and the workbook that goes with it here: https://amzn.to/4hfqg63. The exercises are where the real work happens. The exercises need to be done, not just listened to.

As always, I would love to hear from you, what you get out of each chapter, any insights, any thoughts.

www.iamjenwilson.com

www.instagram.com/iam.jenwilson

www.facebook.com/iamjenwilson

www.youtube.com/iamjenwilson