How to Survive is on Patreon: Patreon.com/howtosurvivepod

It's episode 308, and we all have our loops. Our habits. Behaviours that keep us walking in circles.

Backrooms (2026) follows down-on-his-luck furniture store manager Clark, who discovers a strange door in the basement of his store leading to the Backrooms, a labyrinthine mess of nonsensical corridors, rooms, and worse things besides.

We talk about liminal space horror, theories about memories, MRIs and AIs, the worst furniture store branding in history and perhaps the most precociously talented 20-year old filmmaker in movie history.

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: They simply... exist. Like furniture.

Next time...Zach Cregger is back with his take on Resident Evil (2026).

How to Survive is on Patreon: Patreon.com/howtosurvivepod

It's episode 307: and you wished for this.

Obsession (2026) tells the story of Bear, a young man who makes a wish that his crush, Nikki will love him more than anyone in the world. His wish succeeds, but he gets more than he bargained for when Nikki loves him a little too much.

We talk about the merits of being careful what you wish for; discuss how to construct a fool-proof wish; and finally two men with a podcast weigh in on the gender politics of it all.

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Please, no more weird shit.

Next time, we're keeping it 2026 with Backrooms...

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It's episode 306: we're back in Haddonfield, kicking off the latest How to Survive Franchise Review.... and I guess everyone's entitled to one good scare, huh?

Halloween (1978) tells the story of Laurie, a high-school student with a Halloween-night babysitting job. Throughout the day (and into the night), Laurie and her friends are terrorised by the psychopathic Michael Myers. Michael has escaped containment in the local mental asylum / prison and returns to town on the 15-year anniversary of the night he murdered his sister.

We talk about psychiatric ethics; a topsy-turvy justice system; a better criteria for learner-drivers; and the world's fastest sexual encounter.

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: there's nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding in even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong..

Next time, we're back in 2026 with Obsession...

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It's episode 305, and I don't know if you've noticed, but there are some oddballs walking around this place.

Hokum (2026) finds American novelist Ohm Bauman on a pilgramage to scatter his parents' ashes in rural Ireland. Staying at an isolated hotel, he sinks into a depressive spiral, only to find renewed purpose when a member of staff goes missing. Will Ohm find them? Is the magic mushroom milk-drinking man in the woods responsible? And what's up with that honeymoon suite that's always locked...?

Hokum proves divisive in HTS towers and is either great stuff or barely up to snuff, depending on who you believe. But after a touch of praising/berating, there's plenty of time left over to discuss unlikeable protagonists, haunted hotels, the importance of CCTV, Ohms Under The Hammer, curate's eggs and how best to exit a van at speed.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: there are worse things than strangers out there yet.

Next time, we're making a start on perhaps our last great unwatched horror franchise, with a revisit of Halloween (1978).

It's episode 304 (part 2), and I'm in a bit of a bind.

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026) picks up where the last film left off, with Spike in the custody of the menacing Fingers, led by the even more menacing still Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal. Can he escape, or will he be forced to take part in their diabolical dishing out of charity across the post-apocalyptic wasteland of Britain? Meanwhile, Dr. Kelson makes an unexpected connection with Samson, an Alpha infected, that could end up changing the world.

We talk about a surprisingly touching and funny horror movie, featuring a star turn from Ralph Fiennes and some high-quality needle drops, whether you should return home in a time of crisis, whether you need to follow through on your promises to psychopaths and where you should pour boiling water in a hostage situation.

Plus, a long and in-depth discussion of whether the 28 Years Later films' invoking of one of the worst serial sex-offenders in British history as a pantomime villain is, or could ever be, justifiable. When you write it out it really does seem like a misstep doesn't it?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I'm NHS; free of charge!

Next time, we're off to the cinema to see new haunted hotel film Hokum (2026).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It's episode 304 (part 1), and memento amorus. Remember, you must love.

28 Years Later (2025) brings us to what's left of an isolated Britain, left to ruin under permanent quarantine nearly 3 decades after the outbreak of the Rage virus. Cut off from international allies, small communities piece together whatever life they can from the wreckage that remains. We follow Spike, a child belonging to an island community on Lindisfarne, as he comes of age and journeys to the mainland in search of supplies, salvation and, eventually, meaning.

We talk about a film that is almost entirely defined by what you think of the last 2 minutes, while largely avoiding talking about the last 2 minutes, discuss whether Danny Boyle gets in the way of the film he's directing, wonder whether an island needs a boat and whether a GP is better served spending his time teaching a community medicine, rather than constructing a macabre art project.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: There are many kinds of death. Some are better than others.

Next time, there's only one thing we can cover, really: 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2025).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It's episode 303, and I can make your parents eat each other if I want to. Do I want to, Alex?

Weapons (2025) depicts a sprawling narrative in the town of Maybrook, where 17 children have mysteriously disappeared after running out of their houses in the dead of night. With no-one sure who to blame, suspicion falls upon the children's teacher Justine, but is the town at risk of a witch hunt? What's really going on? And what's with that weird orange-haired old lady that keeps popping up around the gaff?

We discuss Chris' favourite horror film in years, praise how it adeptly walks the tightrope between the trauma-zone and hilarious fun, ask if there's a difference between 'elevated horror' and just 'good horror', and wonder whether Amy Madigan was the recipient of the first pre-humous Oscar. Plus - should Justine get an electric car, should Alex be feeding his parents Huel, and should a school principal follow the stranger danger rule?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Those kids walked out of those homes, no one pulled them out. No one forced them.

Next time, on the Patreon - dunno! What do YOU think we should cover?

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It's episode 302, and Oliver's a f*cking weirdo, isn't he?

Bring Her Back (2025) follows sibling pair Andy and Piper, who are sent to live with foster parent Laura following the death of their father. Despite a fairly benevolent first impression, Laura's new age weirdness soon becomes something more sinister, as she tries to drive a wedge between the pair for her own mysterious aims.

We discuss a film chock full of horrific eating-adjacent nastiness, a surprisngly touching sophomore effort from the Phillipou brothers, venture some suggestions for more sensible foster policies and wonder whether a Talk To Me cinematic universe is on the cards.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: it's just meat.

Next time, on the Patreon, it's time for a (long overdue) Bonus episode, whereas on the public feed we'll be taking a look at Weapons (2025).