Wanting to be chosen is something we all carry, and inside an affair it turns into its own kind of ache. In this solo episode I get into what it actually means to wait for a married man to choose you, why the fantasy that he'll eventually leave his wife feels so real when you're living it, and what the odds actually look like once you step back and do the math on any of it.

I talk about the five years I spent as the other woman, the moment I started questioning whether being chosen was even the right thing to want, and the question I now put to my coaching clients: if he walked up to you at a bar tonight, knowing everything you know now, would he be the guy you'd pick? Some say yes. Plenty say no. That answer changes everything.

This is also where I get honest about choosing yourself, and why I think that phrase gets thrown around online without anyone explaining how it actually works. I go back to the first time I did it, standing on a sidewalk at 38, deciding there was no next time. That decision is the whole episode.

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