How to Stop People-Pleasing and Start Living Your Life

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How to Stop People-Pleasing and Start Living Your Life

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What if being “nice” is actually holding you back? In Episode 468 of Inner Voice: A Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan, Dr. Foojan Zeine sits down with serial entrepreneur, speaker, author, and leadership expert Danny M. Goldberg, author of the provocative book A Little Bit Asshole, to explore people pleasing, confidence, boundaries, assertiveness, leadership, relationships, entrepreneurship, and the courage to say no. Danny's message is not about becoming rude, selfish, or ruthless. Instead, he explains how learning to set healthy boundaries, communicate expectations, understand your self-worth, and stand up for yourself can create stronger relationships and more effective leadership. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 – Introduction The central idea behind Danny's philosophy: learning when to be assertive without losing kindness. 02:44 – Welcome to Inner Voice Dr. Foojan introduces the podcast and its focus on awareness, relationships, emotional clarity, healing, and personal growth. 06:02 – Danny Goldberg’s Journey Danny discusses his corporate background and how being a lifelong people pleaser taught him the importance of boundaries. 08:29 – Why “A Little Bit Asshole”? Danny explains the provocative title and why the book is really about knowing when to say no and stand up for yourself. 09:35 – People Pleasing & Self-Confidence How constantly prioritizing others can cause you to lose your identity—and how boundaries can rebuild confidence. 10:18 – Lessons From Corporate Leadership Danny shares lessons from his career, including his experience at Arthur Andersen and becoming a stronger, more outspoken leader. 10:53 – Setting Boundaries With His Son A personal story about financial boundaries, parenting, independence, and building healthier expectations. 12:03 – Nice vs. Kind What is the difference between trying to be liked and genuinely being kind? 14:01 – Self-Worth & Knowing Your Value Danny explains how boundaries and confidence affect business, relationships, and personal decision-making. 15:04 – Learning to Say No Why listening to your internal signals can help you recognize when you're acting against your values. 16:05 – Why Clarity Matters How clear expectations can reduce unnecessary conflict and improve relationships. 16:32 – Expectations in Romantic Relationships Danny discusses having difficult conversations about expectations with his girlfriend. 17:13 – High Expectations & Personal Growth How challenging expectations can create opportunities for growth, learning, and professional development. 18:31 – Communication & Relationships Why unclear expectations can create problems between partners, employees, managers, and leaders. 19:19 – How to Create Clarity Understanding your needs, expectations, values, and boundaries before entering difficult conversations. 21:23 – Self-Awareness, Values & Integrity How knowing your personal values helps you recognize when your actions are aligned—or out of alignment—with who you want to be. 22:46 – When Values Conflict Danny shares personal and professional experiences involving conflicting values and expectations. 23:32 – Can Relationships Survive Different Values? Dr. Foojan and Danny discuss disagreement, religion, politics, mutual respect, and maintaining relationships despite differences. 25:44 – Mutual Respect & Difficult Conversations Why respectful communication and open-minded dialogue matter when people strongly disagree. 26:26 – Why Danny Wrote the Book Danny explains why he believes many people struggle with people pleasing and boundary-setting. 27:08 – From People Pleasing to Self-Respect Awareness → self-worth → values → expectations → confidence → healthy boundaries. 28:24 – The Benefits of Assertiveness How confidence, boundaries, communication, and self-worth can transform personal and professional relationships. 29:21 – Danny’s New Ventures Danny introduces a functional men's handkerchief and discusses his latest entrepreneurial projects. 29:49 – LykeMe: A Values-Based Dating App Danny explains his dating app designed around values, expectations, non-negotiables, and compatibility rather than appearance alone. 30:14 – How LykeMe Works A closer look at compatibility-based matching and user-controlled photo sharing. 31:18 – Connect With Danny Goldberg Where to find Danny and learn more about his work and book. 31:50 – Closing Thoughts Dr. Foojan closes Episode 468 with an invitation to continue listening, growing, and living with greater awareness. If you've ever struggled with people pleasing, setting boundaries, saying no, communicating your expectations, or standing up for yourself without becoming a difficult person, this episode offers a powerful perspective: you can be kind without abandoning yourself. Subscribe to Inner Voice: A Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan for conversations about emotional awareness, relationships, leadership, mental health, personal growth, and ...

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