Have you ever been frustrated with someone without actually saying anything to them?

I have. And I've noticed something happens when criticism stays in my head: I start collecting evidence.

Once I've decided someone is selfish, difficult, lazy, inconsiderate—or whatever verdict I've reached—suddenly I notice everything they do that proves I was right.

In this episode, I talk about the difference between discernment and judgment, what unspoken criticism does to our relationships, and why the stories we tell ourselves about other people can become so powerful.

And for those of us who follow Jesus, there's another layer to this. Sometimes the most important prayer isn't, “God, would you change them?”

It's “God, what needs to change in me?”

Because the conversation you're having about someone in your head may be changing the way you see them—even if you never say a word.

In this episode of the How to Lead Podcast, Clay and Ryan Bradley discuss the importance of establishing team norms and fostering a culture of trust and communication within organizations.

Ryan shares his journey from athletics to higher education leadership, emphasizing the need for clear expectations and shared values to enhance team dynamics. The conversation highlights practical strategies for creating a supportive work environment, including the significance of overcommunication and celebrating team successes.

Ryan encourages leaders to engage their teams in defining norms that resonate with their unique organizational culture, ultimately aiming to empower individuals to thrive in their roles.

Takeaways

• Team norms are essential for creating a cohesive work environment.
• Clear expectations foster trust among team members.
• Overcommunication is crucial, especially during challenging times.
• Defining core values helps guide team behavior.
• Celebrating unsung heroes reinforces positive team dynamics.
• Leaders should focus on empowering their teams rather than enforcing rules.
• An iterative approach to team norms allows for continuous improvement.
• Engaging the team in discussions about norms enhances buy-in and commitment.
• Shared expectations can prevent misunderstandings and frustrations.
• A strong culture is built on trust, communication, and collaboration.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Team Leadership

01:33 Ryan Bradley's Journey in Leadership

03:48 Transitioning to Vice President Role

05:39 Establishing Team Norms

09:22 The Importance of Trust and Shared Expectations

12:37 Defining Core Values and Team Norms

14:51 Creating a Culture of Overcommunication

18:21 Celebrating Team Successes

20:14 Practical Applications of Team Norms

26:33 Encouragement for Team Leaders

Growing older is automatic. Growing up isn't.

I've noticed there are a few childish instincts I still haven't completely grown out of. I’m just better at hiding them now. 😂

In this episode, I unpack three:

I want it now.
What about me?!
I'm telling!

They show up differently as adults—in impatience, comparison, envy, gossip, and avoiding hard conversations—but the instincts aren't all that different.

Maybe maturity isn't getting to the point where those instincts disappear. Maybe it's getting better at recognizing them when they show up—and learning not to let them drive.

Because growing older is automatic. Growing up isn't.