When a spouse is having an affair, trying to persuade them to work on the marriage or participate more fully in marriage counseling can create more frustration without ending the affair. Coach Jack explains why working individually on re-attraction, reconnection, and boundaries can be a more effective path toward giving the marriage a chance to recover.

What You’ll Learn

• How to recognize when marriage counseling or a marriage retreat is unlikely to help while an affair is still active
• How re-attraction and reconnection can strengthen your position before asking a spouse to choose
• How boundaries prevent relationship improvements from simply making an affair easier to continue
• How to determine when working alone should come before trying to rebuild the marriage together

Want to Work With Coach Jack?

The Coaching Package for Ending a Spouse's Affair is designed to help develop the re-attraction, reconnection, and boundary skills needed when a spouse is still involved with an affair partner. The Re-Connections Coaching Package can also help with rebuilding attraction, connection, and commitment when the situation has moved beyond the active affair.

Key Takeaways

• Joint relationship work requires both spouses to be motivated.
• Re-attraction and reconnection come before forcing a choice when the marriage is weak.
• Validation and the removal of needy behaviors support reconnection.
• Boundaries prevent an improved marriage from coexisting with an ongoing affair.
• Marriage rebuilding together makes more sense after the affair has ended and both spouses are ready.

Additional Resources

• Love Must Be Tough, by James Dobson, PhD, available at online bookstores
• Overcome Neediness and Get the Love You Want, by Jack Ito PhD
• Connecting through "Yes!", by Jack Ito PhD
• Coaching Consultations
• End Your Spouse's Affair Coaching Package

Work one-on-one with Coach Jack to repair your relationship using small, easy steps that rebuild connection quickly. Visit CoachJackIto.com to learn more about relationship coaching.