『How To Talk To Your Children: A Clinical Psychologist's Toolkit for Parents Who Want To Connect』のカバーアート

How To Talk To Your Children: A Clinical Psychologist's Toolkit for Parents Who Want To Connect

How To Talk To Your Children: A Clinical Psychologist's Toolkit for Parents Who Want To Connect

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How To Talk To Your ChildrenA Clinical Psychologist's Toolkit for Parents Who Want To ConnectGuest: Dr David Marcus — clinical psychologist, 40 years working with familiesEpisode DescriptionDr David Marcus has spent 40 years working with families under stress. What he sees, consistently, is not bad parents. It's parents making assumptions about their children that stop communication before it starts.In this conversation, David walks through the four assumptions parents make about their children's emotionality — and why, if any one of them is false, you're not going to get a response. He introduces the concept of the soothing presence — what it actually means to be okay when the person in front of you isn't, and how that skill, when a child internalises it, becomes the foundation of their emotional resilience for life.He talks about why asking why did you do that might be the worst question a parent can ask, what to say instead, and the power of the word something as a non-judgmental way into a difficult conversation. About the fairness trap with siblings. About how the history level — the accumulated memory of how conversations have gone before — fills us up before we even begin. About the pressures teenagers face. And about what he'd tell any parent right now who wants to connect more with their children.This is an episode for parents. But as Dom reflects in the takeaway, the skills David describes go well beyond parenting — they apply to every difficult conversation you will ever have.Timestamps01:17 Introducing Dr David Marcus01:36 What Does He Typically Witness in Families Under Stress?02:42 The Four Assumptions Parents Make About Their Children02:42 Assumption 1 — That Children Experience Their Emotions03:46 Assumption 2 — That Children Can Tolerate the Intensity of Their Emotions04:07 Assumption 3 — That Children Have the Language to Express Their Emotions05:11 Assumption 4 — That It's Safe for the Child to Express Their Emotions With This Person05:36 The Soothing Presence — Being OK When the Person in Front of You Isn't06:40 The Temptation to Fix — Why It Doesn't Work07:02 Emptying Out — Why Logic Doesn't Land When Someone Is Filled Up07:50 How Parents Feel About Children Often Reflects How Children Feel About Themselves08:16 Predictability as the Source of Trust09:47 Unpredictable Parents — What It Does to a Child's Sense of Security13:00 Screen Time — The Soothing Presence Problem of Modern Parenting14:00 David's Pillow Story — When the Clinical Psychologist Got Mad16:00 Why Children Need a Predictable Time When You Are Really There18:00 The Dinner Table Conversation — Tell Me About Your Day20:32 Why Did You Do That — The Worst Question You Can Ask20:47 Something Made That Happen — A Better Way In21:01 The Power of the Word Something — Non-Judgmental and Open22:10 Mirroring Back — Emptying the Child Out23:14 No Wonder You Did What You Did — Validating Without Approving23:28 Productive Discipline and Building Resilience25:03 Siblings — The Fairness Trap26:53 The Emptying Out Process — What It Actually Means29:01 The History Level — Getting Filled Up Before You Even Begin32:00 Walls That Build Up Between People — How Communication Breaks Down33:47 A Different Definition of Support35:20 Teenagers Under Pressure — The Cost of Meeting Everyone Else's Expectations36:58 David as a Parent — His Own Pitfalls41:26 The Key Thing — Be OK Yourself First42:44 Dom's Closing ReflectionYou can find Dr David Marcus atParentRX - Dr. David Marcus Ph. D.All Previous Episodeshttps://shows.acast.com/torqueWe want to hear from youGet in touch throughEmail - connect@mantorquexy.com Instagram / Facebook / TikTok - @mantorquexySubscribe and leave a reviewOriginal music composed and used with permission from Alex Tilley Video Editing for Socials assistance provided by Lily O'Connor Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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