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Something strange happens when you stop asking “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking “What is this part of me trying to do for me?” I sit down with coach Tina Estrella to talk about existential kink, a somatic, parts-based approach that helps people untangle self-sabotage, shutdowns, and repeating patterns without turning their inner world into a battlefield.

Tina shares her path through early diagnoses like depression, borderline personality disorder, and OCD, and what changed when she later recognized ADHD and neurodivergence through a more strength-based lens. We talk candidly about self-injury as a form of grounding, why certain treatment settings can feel safer than “real life,” and how group support and honest therapy can rebuild a sense of self over time.

From there we get practical. Tina explains what existential kink means outside of any sexual context, how “full approval” reframes the parts of us we usually shame, and what a typical session can look like: clarifying what you actually want, tracking body sensations, having guided conversations with inner parts, and using simple practices between sessions to create new habits with less friction. We also dig into growth, resistance, and why building change can feel like shedding an old shell, especially for neurodivergent people navigating pressure, purpose, and energy limits.

If you’re curious about nervous system regulation, parts work, and a different route to lasting behavior change, hit play. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with a friend who’s tired of fighting themselves.

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