How many times does Jesus expect us to forgive someone—especially when they keep hurting us, never apologize, or don’t seem sorry?

In this episode of The Church on the Path Podcast, Pastor Brent explores one of Jesus’ most challenging teachings: forgiveness.

Peter asks Jesus a question many of us have asked in one form or another: “Lord, how often should I forgive?” Peter suggests seven times, but Jesus responds, “Not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Jesus isn’t giving Peter a bigger number to track. He’s telling him to put away the calculator. Forgiveness isn’t an accounting system; it is meant to become a way of life for people who have received the mercy of God.

Through the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18:21–35, Jesus tells of a man released from an impossible debt who then refuses to show mercy to someone who owes him far less. The message is uncomfortable but powerful: grace received is meant to become grace extended. We can be forgiven people who have not yet learned how to become forgiving people.

But what does biblical forgiveness actually mean?

Forgiveness does not mean pretending the wound didn’t matter. It doesn’t eliminate accountability, automatically restore trust, or require someone to return to an abusive or dangerous relationship. Forgiveness and reconciliation are connected, but they are not identical. Reconciliation requires repentance, truth, change, and the rebuilding of trust. Forgiveness means releasing our claim to revenge and placing the person, the wound, and our desire for justice into the hands of God.

And sometimes forgiveness isn’t accomplished in one dramatic moment.

Sometimes the pain comes back. Sometimes the memory returns. Sometimes we discover we’ve picked up the stone we thought we had already put down.

So how many times should we forgive?

As many times as the pain returns. As many times as the memory rises. As many times as resentment begins taking hold again. As many times as we’re tempted to pick up the stone.

Forgiveness can become a daily act of discipleship because God’s grace meets us again and again.

Drawing also from Israel’s journey through the Red Sea, Pastor Brent offers a powerful picture of forgiveness as walking out of bondage and toward freedom. Forgiveness doesn’t mean returning to Egypt and pretending slavery was acceptable. It means refusing to allow what happened in the past to keep controlling our future.

The person who hurt you may never apologize. They may never understand what they did. They may never repair what they broke.

But through the grace of God, they do not get to determine whether you walk free.

What stone have you carried long enough?

Jesus isn’t shaming us for being wounded. Jesus is inviting us into freedom.

We forgive because we have been forgiven. We show mercy because mercy has been shown to us. We release others because Christ has released us.

The Church on the Path Worship + Service = Discipleship Love First…Love Always

Scripture: Matthew 18:21–35; Romans 14:1–12; Exodus 14:19–31

Keywords: How many times should I forgive, Matthew 18:21–35, seventy times seven, seventy-seven times, Jesus on forgiveness, Christian forgiveness, forgiving someone who isn’t sorry, forgiveness without reconciliation, forgiveness and boundaries, letting go of resentment, overcoming bitterness, unforgiving servant, biblical forgiveness, grace and mercy, Christian discipleship, Christian podcast, United Methodist sermon, Charleston SC church, St Andrews Parish UMC, The Church on the Path.