Every day, society checks to see what we will tolerate. And every day, we lower our standards, cross our own boundaries, and accept things we find unacceptable. Usually, for our convenience.

As a person in Los Angeles, I will say, we tolerate the gas prices. Because it's easier to tolerate them than to figure out public transportation. So we say, “Yes, we will accept this obnoxiously high gas price,” while the CEOs and the shareholders make their money and show absurd profits. Meanwhile, the planet heats up and fires burn.

We are being tested every single day on what we will tolerate. And we do tolerate some intolerable shit. Can’t blame us. We’re busy, stressed and financially terrified.

Because of what we tolerate, we are participating in the creation of this weird world. And, no, that’s not to say it’s our fault. Not at all. However, the longer we tolerate this, the more complicit we become. Because we are forgetting that we do have options. They just might be inconvenient.

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Music: "Punk Attitude" by Flash Fluharty licensed via PremiumBeats

Boundaries. I love them. And they can be super disrupty because some people don't know what the fuck to do when you assert them. Their assumption is, if you assert your boundaries, well, then you're not a nice person. And if you're not a nice person, well, then you're certainly not a happy person. And I am here to tell you all of that is crap.

Being happy doesn't mean being a doormat. It doesn't mean tolerating bullshit. And it doesn't mean automatically forgiving people for their bullshit. Being happy means having standards and holding to them.

Let me tell you, one of the things that makes me super happy is accountability — that of others and my own. And you know what keeps people accountable? Yep: Boundaries.

But here’s the thing: Boundaries are not setting rules for other people to abide by. Nope. Boundaries are about holding a set of standards and values for yourself. You aren't trying to tell somebody how to behave by honoring your boundaries. You're just letting them know their behavior isn’t for you and if that’s the only behavior they’re capable of, you're moving on. There is a diff.

But some people are confused by that. They use their boundaries to hold other people accountable to their rules and regulations, expecting others to acquiesce to their whims. They think of their boundaries as a rulebook for others to play by. Uh uh. That’s just a form of control and manipulation. Which is totally inappropriate, unhealthy and gross.

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Music: "Punk Attitude" by Flash Fluharty licensed via PremiumBeats

Think about it for a moment. Give it a good Scooby-Doo. Who benefits by you being unhappy? Because someone does. And it isn’t you.

And you know the impact being unhappy has in your life. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t get you anywhere. So, who benefits if you remain unhappy?

When we are unhappy, we are compliant. We are stuck. We stick with the devil we know. Our nervous system has acclimated to this misery and has deemed it safe. How can something that makes us unhappy be safe? Because we are breathing and alive and that is safe. Our nervous system is basic AF.

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Music: "Punk Attitude" by Flash Fluharty licensed via PremiumBeats

Chances are, if you’re listening to this, you are interested in self-improvement. And that’s a great thing. Evolving is important. Becoming the very true you is a joy-maker. And bettering ourselves is vital. Because if we want the world to change, we have to change. If we want the world to be better, we have to be better.

And there’s a reason why this ep is titled “Bettering Ourselves” and not “Bettering Yourself”, because this is a group effort. If we all work toward that — bettering ourselves each and every day — the ripple effect that I love to talk about will become an effing tsunami of groovy.

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Music: "Punk Attitude" by Flash Fluharty licensed via PremiumBeats

I’m curious about why people refuse to do things that would get them better. I’m not talking about philosophical stuff, but the basics. Going to the doctor. Flossing teeth. Doing something about gnarly feet. Seriously, get an Amope.

I think we’re all guilty of it, believing we know better, thinking we’re taking a more noble route by grinning and bearing it. We aren’t. And that suffering — because that’s really what it is — can spread over to the people we love, watching us as we refuse to get better. By getting sober. By going to the doctor for the symptoms that persist and are now worse. By repeating behavior that keeps us stuck and sad and unhealthy.

Be it fear or self-sabotaging, it’s silly and we know it. And it’s time to do better so we can get better.

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Music: "Punk Attitude" by Flash Fluharty licensed via PremiumBeats

Once upon a time, I kind of got into a little tiff with a friend who absolutely did not believe she needed to love herself in order to fully love another person. That was her hill. And I was like there are so many other hills. Why this one?

Because our relationships with ourselves are so fucking complicated. And with a little work, we can uncomplicate them.

Do I love myself? Yes. Do I think I’m perfect, or close to it? Hell no!

I think we need to understand what self-love is, what self-acceptance is, the importance of self-compassion, and learn to have a good relationship with ourselves because, look, we are stuck with ourselves all day, every day.

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Music: "Punk Attitude" by Flash Fluharty licensed via PremiumBeats

I’ve said it before: When we start to get critical, we need to get curious. (Season 1, Episode 005.) Because there is a reason we have our backs up about something, whether it’s with ourselves or with others.

It’s really easy to be judgmental. It’s human. It’s also petty. I usually leave it as, “Well, that’s a choice,” and move on. Because I grew up with judgmental people. I was often judged. And, sure, that can cause you to become judgy. But you know what I’ve learned? Being judgy is boring AF. It adds nothing to the conversation. And if you have to tear down someone else to build yourself up, you need some serious introspection.

Which, BTW, is a good thing.

Follow the podcast on Instagram, Threads and Facebook @HappyRebelPodcast and go deeper into your eudaimonic wellbeing at The Happyist Substack.

Leave a review on Apple Podcasts and DM a screenshot of it to me on Instagram (@happyrebelpodcast) along with your preferred email address to receive a free month of The Happyist Substack plus a discount on a continuing subscription. (Please note, this is a manual process. The only AI I use is *actual* intelligence.)

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Music: "Punk Attitude" by Flash Fluharty licensed via PremiumBeats

First, I lost my favorite body lotion. Next, it was my favorite xylitol chewing gum. Don’t even get me started on our rights, liberty and what’s left of our humanity.

We see things we love, need and desire slip away from us on the daily. Or, at least, that’s how it feels. And we can’t get stuck in a scarcity mindset because of that. A slippery slope.

Instead of going down that slide, we have to notice how much we do have rather than what we don’t. Nope. That’s not toxic positivity. That’s realism.

Follow the podcast on Instagram, Threads and Facebook @HappyRebelPodcast and go deeper into your eudaimonic wellbeing at The Happyist Substack.

Leave a review on Apple Podcasts and DM a screenshot of it to me on Instagram (@happyrebelpodcast) along with your preferred email address to receive a free month of The Happyist Substack plus a discount on a continuing subscription. (Please note, this is a manual process. The only AI I use is *actual* intelligence.)

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©2025-2026 Happy Rebel LLC All Rights Reserved

Music: "Punk Attitude" by Flash Fluharty licensed via PremiumBeats