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Truth can be both illuminating and devastating. When I recorded my very first podcast episode on "content communicating" with my then-husband, I believed we were strengthening our marriage by teaching others to "say what you mean and mean what you say." Little did I know he was actively betraying me throughout our entire year of podcasting together.

Looking back at that initial episode brings a mixture of embarrassment, pain, and unexpected wisdom. What began as a simple communication concept has evolved into something far more powerful in my life: telling the whole truth. Not just the polite truth or the partial truth, but the complete, nuanced reality of our experiences. This isn't just about clearly expressing whether you need a bathroom break on a road trip—it's about acknowledging the complex, sometimes contradictory truths that define our lives.

My truth included desperately wanting to save my marriage while ultimately choosing divorce. It included building a life coaching career focused on helping couples rebuild after betrayal, then transforming that practice when I realized I couldn't be the poster child for staying together through infidelity. The whole truth is messy, painful, and ultimately freeing. Through my own healing journey, I've learned that speaking our complete truth—first to ourselves, then to others—forms the foundation for authentic living after betrayal. Whether deciding to skip an event where seeing my ex would trigger dysregulation or setting boundaries that honor my wellbeing, this practice of whole-truth telling has become my compass. Original episode on Content Communicating I did with my former spouse: Cue the Cringe. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/happily-even-after-with-life-coach-jen/id1566971244?i=1000522868984

Ready to explore what telling your whole truth might reveal? Connect with me at hello@lifecoachjenwith1n.com or follow me on Instagram and Facebook @HappilyEvenAfterCoach. Together, we'll navigate the path to your own happily even after—one honest conversation at a time.

Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom.

Email me: hello@lifecoachjen.com for any comments or questions.

Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends.

My website is www.lifecoachjen.com

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Relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner joins us to unpack the damaging marriage advice many of us have accepted as truth. Drawing from her seven years of podcasting experience and three years exclusively coaching couples, Monica reveals why seemingly innocent phrases like "happy wife, happy life" and "don't sweat the small stuff" actually create disconnection and resentment in relationships.

Monica shares details about her upcoming book, "Bad Marriage Advice: Debunking Myths That Will Make You Miserable and What to Do Instead," which evolved from a heartfelt letter to her soon-to-be-married son. The conversation digs into why telling couples "divorce is not an option" often backfires, removing motivation for growth rather than strengthening commitment.

The most practical segment focuses on Monica's three-step formula for making effective requests in relationships. Instead of complaining about what you're not getting, she teaches how to identify what you want, make your request "stupidly easy" to fulfill by being specific, and show gratitude for any progress. This approach transforms communication patterns and creates positive momentum in relationships.

We also explore the powerful garden metaphor for marriage—how beliefs planted by others in our childhood need tending, weeding, and sometimes complete replanting as we grow and face life's transitions together. Monica emphasizes the value of seeking relationship support before crisis strikes, sharing stories of proactive couples who establish relationships with coaches early in their marriages.

Whether you're struggling with communication issues, feeling disconnected, or simply want to strengthen an already good relationship, this episode offers practical wisdom for creating a marriage where both partners feel valued, heard, and cherished. Ready to transform your relationship? Listen now and discover how to replace bad marriage advice with strategies that actually work.

Monica Tanner Guest Information
Monica Tanner, RLT trained, Relationship Coach and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast, transforms marriages with simple communication, connection, conflict resolution and commitment strategies. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital satisfaction. Through her engaging podcast, new book, Bad Marriage Advice, vibrant social media community, and couple’s coaching practice, Monica's expert guidance has impacted thousands of couples, by helping them ditch resentment and roommate syndrome and get back to living their happily ever after love story.

website: https://monicatanner.com

book: https://badmarriageadvice.com

podcast: https://secretsofhappilyeverafter.buzzsprout.com

Have you gotten on the waitlist for my new book - Bad Marriage Advice? You can do that HERE!

Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom.

Email me: hello@lifecoachjen.com for any comments or questions.

Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends.

My website is www.lifecoachjen.com

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Healing after betrayal often feels impossible when we're white-knuckling our trauma, convinced that hypervigilance will somehow protect us from future pain. But what if the very things we're clinging to—obsessive thoughts about the affair partner, negative self-image, or fantasy versions of our relationships—are actually preventing our healing?

Drawing from both personal experience and my work as a trauma-informed coach, I explore the invisible barriers we construct after infidelity and betrayal. Our primitive brains convince us that staying on high alert will keep us safe, but this constant state of anxiety is both exhausting and ineffective. If someone wants to betray you again, no amount of phone checking or hypervigilance will prevent it.

Real healing begins when we serve an "eviction notice" to the thoughts keeping us stuck. This process starts with awareness of what we're holding onto, followed by what I call bringing our "CEO brain" online—engaging our higher thinking rather than remaining trapped in fear-based responses. Through radical honesty with ourselves, we can loosen our grip on betrayal trauma and begin rebuilding trust from within.

The journey requires distinguishing between fantasy and reality. Fantasy feels safer—imagining what might have been or how things "should" have worked out—but it keeps us disconnected from our actual lives. The sooner we can accept our circumstances, the sooner we can create something meaningful from them. Letting go isn't about forgetting what happened; it's about creating space for new possibilities and yes—living happily, even after betrayal.

Ready to identify what you're holding onto that's keeping you stuck? Reach out for a free call, and let's work together to help you create your happily even after.

Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom.

Email me: hello@lifecoachjen.com for any comments or questions.

Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends.

My website is www.lifecoachjen.com