Carla sits down with longtime friend Natasha Pearl Hansen for a wide-ranging, deeply personal conversation about grief, resilience, and the "bonus sphere" of chosen family. Natasha shares how a canceled wedding led her to build My Breakup Registry, how she found comedy almost by accident at Second City Chicago, and how the sudden loss of her best friend of 17 years, Matthew Botas, reshaped her life, eventually inspiring a TEDx talk that released exactly one year to the day of his death. The two also open up about Natasha's more recent loss of her father, and how grief shows up differently every time.

Episode Navigation:

00:03 – How Natasha got into comedy: From a theater minor to Second City Chicago, almost by accident

02:19 – My Breakup Registry origin story: Born out of a canceled wedding and launched during the pandemic

04:09 – On grief hierarchies: Why breakups are treated as "less than" other losses, and why that's unfair

06:50 – Meeting Matthew Botas: The bartending job, the whiskey tips, and a 17-year friendship

12:41 – The day Matt died: Natasha recounts December 23, 2024, in detail

22:00–25:29 – The networking event: How wearing "disco pants" and refusing to ask what people do led to her TEDx invitation

27:25 – Writing the TEDx talk: Choosing not to say the word "grief," building the talk from stories instead of lessons

31:12 – The response to going public: Screenshotted messages from people helped by her openness

33:19 – On grief being different for everyone: Anticipatory grief with her father vs. sudden loss with Matt

36:08 – Practical advice: Making a list of people to see every day during the hardest weeks

40:44 – The "bonus sphere": How losing Matt brought his circle of friends together as chosen family

About Natasha Pearl Hansen:

Comedian, actor, founder, and speaker. Founder and CEO of My Breakup Registry and creator of the Hustle & Chill newsletter. Delivered a TEDx talk on using laughter to move through grief, released one year to the day after the death of her best friend, Matthew Botas.

Connect & Resources:

Newsletter: https://hustleandchillwithnph.beehiiv.com/

My Breakup Registry: https://www.nphcomedy.com/mybreakupregistry

TEDx talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWMnZPGpaQw

Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

Website: https://5683justbe.com/

Follow Carla V. on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carla_variglotti_/