This week on Exploding Cars, Singing Nuns and Quipping Killers:

Greg and Joe tackle 2017's The Hitman's Bodyguard, a movie that asks the age-old question: What if Deadpool and Nick Fury had to road trip together while everyone tried to kill them?

Ryan Reynolds plays Michael Bryce, a once-elite bodyguard whose life has fallen apart, and Samuel L. Jackson is Darius Kincaid, a legendary hitman who needs to testify at The Hague. The twist? They hate each other. The bigger twist? They have to work together to survive.

Directed by Patrick Hughes (who clearly loves explosions and banter in equal measure), this movie delivers high-octane action sequences, absurd comic timing, and Salma Hayek absolutely stealing every scene she's in as Kincaid's imprisoned wife who might be more dangerous than both of them combined.

Is it ridiculous? Absolutely.

Is it self-aware? Painfully so.

Does it feature Samuel L. Jacks on singing "I Will Always Love You" while driving a boat through Amsterdam? You're darn right it does.

Greg and Joe buckle up, check their routes, and discover that sometimes the best protection is a good offense (and a lot of swearing).

As with every episode, this is the conversation that needed to happen about this movie. Also: Drinking Games, Important Questions, Joe's Back of the Box, and more.

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It's the episode you literally voted for, so this week democracy wins. We hesitantly got on peak dad-hero Harrison Ford's Air Force One (and he seemed a little grumpy about it, tbh.)

It feels a lot like The Fugitive, but with more neck-snapping, and the delightfully unhinged Gary Oldman as a terrorist who somehow hijacks both the world’s most secure aircraft and Joe's heart.

Directed by submarine-and-storm enthusiast Wolfgang Petersen, this is Greg's ultimate “Die Hard on a blank” entry — a movie where the President of the United States personally handles hostage negotiations by punching them. (The Vice President, Glenn Close, does all the negotiations, obviously. Vice Presidents do that.)

Is it ridiculous? Yes.

Is it sincere? Also yes.

Does it feature the Leader of the Free World growling “Get off my plane” before launching a man into open air? You bet your nuclear codes it does.

Greg and Joe strap in, secure the escape pod, and learn a little something about themselves along the way.

As with every episode, this is the love letter that needed to happen about this movie. Also: Drinking Games, Important Questions, Joe's Back of the Box, and more.

If you’d like to advertise with us or sponsor us, please e-mail greatbadmoviesshow@gmail.com

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What if your entire life was a lie, but also you're really good at parkour? Salt is a movie four years ahead of its time and about eleven different cuts ahead of Greg and Joe truly understanding it. They discuss how this spy thriller delivers John Wick-level action sequences but with a plot that requires an advanced degree in, I don't know, something. Is Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) a loyal CIA agent? A Russian sleeper agent? Both? Neither? The answer is yes—and also no.

Join them as they debate the critical clues in this film, like how a half-eaten sandwich and an overturned chair are obvious signs of kidnapping, why a German arachnologist is the perfect husband for a spy, and how Angelina Jolie maintains perfect hair after dyeing it black in a sink. They marvel at the 17-minute escape sequence, attempt to understand Liev Schreiber's motivations, and confirm that spider venom is a totally normal thing to just have on hand.

As with every episode, this is the love letter that needed to happen about this movie. Also: Drinking Games, Important Questions, Joe's Back of the Box, and more.

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John-uary returns!! This year we're celebrating with the sequel that asks: "What if EVERYONE in New York City was secretly an assassin?"

Chapter 2 expands the Wickiverse in every direction—more gold coins, more secret rules, more secret rooms behind secret rooms, and a hotel staff that has seen everything and will comment on none of it. The Continental becomes less “luxury hotel” and more “violent LinkedIn,” and John Wick proves once again that the most dangerous man alive can also be the politest.

Joe and Greg discuss why this is Joe's favorite John Wick movie, create approximately 47 drinking games, debate turtleneck-and-suit fashion choices, and explain why this is the ultimate "how to make a sequel" masterclass. They're going Applebee's after this, once they figure out how the gold coins work.

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TIMESTAMPS:

0:00 - Opening Question

5:27 - What makes John Wick Chapter 2 a Great Bad Movie?

58:18 - Back of the Box

1:00:10 - Box Office and Critical Reception

1:07:58 - Drinking Games

1:13:05 - Signs you might be watching a Great Bad Movie

1:15:01 - Important Questions

1:30:44 - This has been great, but we need to go

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In this very special year-end live extravaganza, we present the 1st Annual Golden Helicopter Awards—a completely serious, extremely prestigious live ceremony honoring the incredible achievements in Great Bad Film this year. There are surprise winners, devastating snubs, and at the end there can only be one Best Great Bad Movie (AKA the 70est Percent Movie.)

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Seattle Times writer Moira Macdonald and our good friend David Hallgren join us to talk about (Moira's pick!) Rampage, with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson… Moira was a mystery guest to Greg until the moment she arrives, orchestrated by David and Joe Sky-Tucker.

This week we learned 2018’s Rampage is an under-celebrated feat in cinema…. Potentially one of the most enjoyable movies in recent years. The Rock once again teams up with director Brad Peyton to make a movie David describes as “the seventy-est percent movie ever made.” (70% of course being our Rotten Tomato rating for every movie we watch.)

This was a surprisingly easy movie to write a love letter to, and an absolute blast for Greg and Joe to hang out with Moira and David.

It goes without saying… All four of us laughed a lot, and learned a little something about ourselves along the way 😀

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TIMESTAMPS:

0:00 - Surprise Guest #1

01:02 - Surprise Guest #2

07:16 - What makes Rampage a Great Bad Movie??

29:28 - Drinking Games

53:26 - Back of the Box

56:46 - Box Office and Critical Reception

01:03:15 - Signs you might be watching a Great Bad Movie

01:05:14 - Important Questions

01:32:10 - This has been great, but we need to go

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Is Skyfall the best Bond movie? Joe calls a last-minute audible so we can find out. It's time for us to write a love letter to another Great Bond Movie®. Wait.... Important question.... Did our Quantum of Solace episode deserve a sequel? 1000% yes.

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We've alluded to our love of this movie for a long time... It's time to look 2 minutes ahead, and talk about the incomparable NEXT.

Nicolas Cage stars as Shy, Socially Awkward Nicolas Cage. Usually that would work, for some reason it doesn't here. Director Lee Tamahori, who has proven himself as an incredibly talented director, also seems to be having an off day. Jessica Biel and Julianne Moore are there to raise the bar, but can't save this movie from itself.

It's a real mystery why this movie doesn't work and yet is one of the most enjoyable films in history. Greg and Joe can't stop watching and talking about it.... So where is the magic that makes this amazing? They find that one of their favorite editors, Christian Wagner, brought much of the magic. Cinematographer David Tattersall does some arresting work. Production designer William Sandell brings his A-Game. Writer Gary Goldman wrestled with tough source material, and brought some contemporary ideas to the script. Great people, above and below the line, make this a sneakily great movie, one that we will rewatch forever.

We do a lot of episodes for them. This one is for us.

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