In this slightly unhinged episode, SJ and Kay dig into sex drive and why it’s a somewhat silly, misunderstood concept. They walk through more serious theories like the ABC model (not the Jackson 5), the motivation–incentive framework, and, of course, Emily Nagoski’s accelerators and brakes...but with some major detours into less scientific territory, including Brie from Desperate Housewives and Kay’s obsession with the Unwrap Me Christmas novella by Natalia Lourose. They challenge the idea that men are constantly thinking about sex, poke holes in evolutionary narratives that try to box desire by gender, and explore why so many women hit their sexual stride in their late 20s to 40s. The conversation veers into Santa smut, the cautionary tale of using a Christmas ornament as a DIY sex toy (please do not), and why masturbation might actually be a better indicator of libido than partnered sex. With their signature mix of humor, research, and chaos, the hosts may or may not leave you with a better understanding of sex drive. ..Only guarantee from listening is that you won't look a nutcracker ornament the same way again. Cheers!

We talk about women's porn preferences and champion that it's totally fine if porn's not your vibe. We debate on quick-hit horniness vs. slow-burn romance reads, and zero in on why mainstream porn often flops. Think Pornhub's assault of unrealistically enormous assets, black-and-orange overload, and demoralizing tropes like teary face shots and "breeding" boss fantasies that prioritize peenies over desire. Backed by 2024 stats that nearly 40% of users are women with a higher interest in lesbian scenes for their female-pleasure focus. We call out the site's gateway traps: bombastic thumbnails, floodlit aesthetics, and ads with peeny panic. But fear not, fellow seekers, we talk on the hotter havens tailored for us, from Bellesea's lingerie-lush lesbian and couple clips to Tushy's plot-driven foreplay, and Make Love Not Porn's authentic chemistry. We also talk on the why books are so great in this area, with us being able to create the scene in our heads instead of having less-than-great-visuals jammed at us. With a lot of honesty, this episode's a permission slip to curate your own climax— or opt out entirely. (NSFW alert: Explicit rants and a critique of Pornhub's main page videos.)

We take a nostalgic dive and revisit our gateway smut, from early crushes on Twilight's Edward to Harry Potter's fanfic-fueled Draco and Disney's anthropomorphic foxes. We debate book-to-movie fails, our shadow daddy love origins like Han Solo and Rhett Butler, and the allure of fairy tale retellings. Minotaur romantasies get some side-eye, though we will hold off fully knocking it until Kay tries it...coming for you, Morning Glory Milking Farm. Is K-Pop demon hunters the next gen's entry to fantasy romance? We wrap with a mid-read roast of Sarah J. Maas' A Court of Silver Flames...SJ has still not come around to Nesta but Kay remains a fan.