Hey everyone, we are diving headfirst into the weird and infuriating history of the female orgasm. We start with the big question that kicked this off: why don’t we have a complete picture of the clitoris and female pleasure until basically our lifetimes? Perhaps because for centuries, a whole lot of men decided women were just passive penis-shaped receptacles, and they really weren’t looking (or caring) very hard??

We follow the fascinating journey of Marie Bonaparte (Napoleon’s great-grandniece) who measured hundreds of women’s genitalia, became besties with Freud, decided her clitoris was in the “wrong” spot because she couldn’t climax in missionary, and actually had surgery (twice!) to move it closer to her vagina in hopes of achieving that “proper” vaginal orgasm. We roast the ancient Greeks (thanks, Hippocrates and Galen, for the inverted penis theory and the idea that the vagina and clitoris are in constant conflict) and Victorian doctors who declared most women aren’t troubled by sexual feelings...and how the whole “vaginal orgasm is the only feminine one” myth stuck around from ancient times straight through to Bridgerton.

Along the way we hit hysteria cures via pelvic massage (hello, hand-crank vibrators that look like medieval torture devices), Freud’s nonsense about rejecting clitoral pleasure to become a “real” woman, and the slow, glorious comeback thanks to researchers like Helen O’Connell who finally mapped the full clitoris with MRIs in the early 2000s.

If we don’t laugh at centuries of men getting female anatomy spectacularly wrong, we might cry. So grab a drink, settle in, and join us...it's going to get a little cringey fast.

We spill the spiked tea on all things Bridgerton...books, show seasons, and the highly questionable consent dynamics that somehow still deliver pure escapism. SJ dives deep while Kay experiences it all for the first time (no prior books or full seasons watched...up until the last 2 weeks), leading to debates over Daphne’s under-the-table sperm-jacking, Simon’s pull-out game, Anthony’s bee-sting tit-sucking heroics, and Benedict’s magically healed stab wound after a quick bandage and pond dip.

We roast the books’ “odd” virgin sex scenes, lack of real foreplay, and repetitive daddy-issues trauma, while praising the show’s slutty upgrades, addictive family dynamics, and Ariana Grande string-quartet bangers. We cover Penelope’s unnecessary book weight loss (thank you, Shonda, for keeping her hot), questionable Regency medical “exams,” why everyone still lives at home, and the upcoming queer twist with Michaela.

Also - is rake the sexiest word for man-slut? Why is Julie Andrews narrating spicy audiobooks? And is it accurate that the ton’s girls knew nothing about baby-making? Equal parts spicy critique, heartfelt love for the large-family vibes, and giggles...this episode is perfect for anyone who’s ever burned for a duke… or just wanted better historical medical accuracy in their smut.

Grab your tea (spiked?) and let's be total rakes together.

We dive into Rachel E. Gross’s fascinating book Vagina Obscura: An Anatomical Voyage. We explore how little science and society still know about female anatomy, from the clitoris’s sole purpose of pleasure to outdated treatments like boric acid (basically rat poison), and the long history of treating women’s bodies as mysterious “shame parts."

Along the way, we talk serious business like the time one of us inserted a tampon in the wrong hole, questionable “sushi lover” t-shirts, and awkward euphemisms like “front butt” and “marital vegetables." We talk about the daddy of medicine, Hippocrates, naming lady parts without ever properly studying them, duck vaginas that evolved for reproductive control, the unsurprisingly recent start of dedicated women’s health research at the NIH, and why female pleasure has been so overlooked for centuries. We wrap up with a quick tangent on the recent Chappell Roan hotel drama involving Jude Law’s daughter (...it wasn’t even her security).

Grab Vagina Obscura, laugh or cringe along with us, and remember: we don’t talk about vaginas enough, but we’re changing that...one quickie at a time.