In this episode of the Mind Medic Podcast, host Jim " Doc" Martel sits down with Luke House — Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Gold Star brother, and author of Guerrilla Grief: The Men’s Grief Manual.

Luke’s younger brother, Sgt. Joel House, was killed in Iraq in 2007. That loss set Luke on a path through raw survival, counseling, and eventually writing a practical manual for men who don’t know how to grieve the way the world expects them to. Along the way, his family helped create House in the Woods — outdoor retreats in rural Maine for veterans and Gold Star families that turned private pain into shared purpose.

Luke opens up about what those early years of grief actually looked like as a young man, the survival-mode patterns that surprised him most, and the moments at those retreats that reshaped how he understands what men need after deep loss.

We dig into the “Guerrilla Grief” metaphor itself: why many men have to fight for their hearts in the shadows, how this differs from the classic stages-of-grief model, and the common ways grief shows up for men raised or trained to stay strong and keep performing — numbness, anger, isolation, overwork, or the quiet sense of just being “off” and stuck.

Luke shares concrete tactics from the manual for moving from pure survival into purpose. He walks through what a realistic first step can look like on a hard Tuesday, how to keep that step from becoming another failure, and how to turn the energy of grief into meaning without forcing a silver lining. Brotherhood, shared challenge, and the outdoors play a central role.

We also explore the overlaps Luke sees between the losses of veterans, first responders, incarcerated men, and everyday guys who have never named what they’re carrying as grief.

If you’ve been white-knuckling it for a long time, this conversation offers both recognition and a clear place to begin.

Luke’s book is Guerrilla Grief: The Men’s Grief Manual. You can find House in the Woods and their outdoor retreats online. Luke is in private practice in the Windham, Maine area.

This is the Mind Medic Podcast. Our aim is simple: help people move from survival to thriving… so others may thrive.

If this episode lands for you, share it with a brother who needs it.