I tried to make a Christmas song. The more i listen, the less i like it.

LYRICS:

I'm not gonna yell at my kids today

unless they do something i don't like

it's christmas time

i'm not gonna do amphetamines

unless i get really really tired

i'm christmas high

And when it feels like i don't have much to give

There's one thing i can give to you

It's the gift of giving

Up.

I'm not gonna talk about politics

unless i wanna start a fight with my family at the dinner table

it's christmas dinner

I ain't gonna drink no alcohol

unless i've got some emotions i'm not completely prepared to process

christmas (CHRISTMAS!)

wooh

And when it feels like i don't have much to give

There's one thing i can give to you

It's the gift of giving

Up.

I'm gonna give my father something nice this year

maybe some singing lessons, or some therapy

So he can learn to manage his anger problems

And unrealistic expectations of what life should be.

Or maybe just some cool socks.

I promise not to be a total shit this year

we'll eat us a wicked dinner, and make a decent toast

Pappa's gonna wear his Nicholas Cage track suit

And we'll hug all of the people that we love the most

except for that stinky cousin

And when it feels like christmas

christmas

there's one thing i can christmas

it's the gift

of christmas.

up.

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