Summary

In this episode, Ana and Iris explore the complex theme of identity, particularly in the context of midlife. They discuss how identity evolves over time, the significance of cultural and personal narratives, and the challenges faced in reconciling past identities with present realities. The conversation emphasizes the importance of curiosity and self-acceptance in navigating identity changes, as well as the impact of identity on leadership and decision-making. They also share personal stories and recommend resources for listeners to further explore their own identities.

Takeaways

• Identity evolves and changes throughout life.
• Cultural identity can significantly impact self-perception.
• Naming and acknowledging identity struggles is crucial for healing.
• Curiosity about one's identity can lead to personal growth.
• Leadership requires a shift from expert identity to facilitative roles.
• Ethical decision-making is rooted in one's identity and values.
• Understanding different dimensions of identity can enhance self-awareness.
• Personal narratives shape how we relate to others and ourselves.

Chapters

00:00 Exploring Identity in Midlife 10:39 The Dimensions of Identity 17:42 Cultural Identity and Personal Narratives 23:10 Embracing Our Past Experiences 31:43 Ethical Decision Making and Identity 36:41 Identity Revision and Personal Growth 43:29 Resources for Identity Development

Resources

• Book by Susan Cain: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
• Book by Sahaj Kaur Kohli (also founder of Brown Girl Therapy community): But What Will People Say.
• Book by Kenji Yoshino: Covering: The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights
• Book by Najwa Zebian: Welcome Home: A Guide to Building a Home for Your Soul

Summary

In this episode, Iris and Ana explore the complexities of dating at midlife, sharing personal experiences and insights on growth, challenges, and the importance of mindset. They discuss the significance of approaching dating with intention, resilience, and authenticity, while also addressing common cognitive biases and societal narratives that can impact one's dating journey. The conversation emphasizes the value of self-discovery and compassion in building meaningful relationships.

Takeaways

• Dating at midlife can be a journey of growth and self-discovery.
• Approach dating with intention and resilience for a meaningful experience.
• Mindset plays a crucial role in navigating the dating landscape.
• Cognitive biases can distort perceptions of dating opportunities.
• Authenticity is key to forming genuine connections.
• Self-compassion is essential during the dating process.
• Personal boundaries are important in maintaining one's values.
• Investing in personal development can enhance dating experiences.
• Flexibility in expectations can open up new opportunities.
• Trust the process and be open to learning from experiences.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Dating at Midlife 02:54 Navigating the Challenges of Dating 06:03 The Positive Aspects of Midlife Dating 11:11 Cognitive Biases and Dating Narratives 15:24 Resilience and Personal Growth in Dating 20:18 Investing in Yourself and Your Dating Journey 22:58 Setting Boundaries and Authenticity 26:53 Advice for Younger Selves 30:56 Recommended Resources and Books 35:50 Key Takeaways and Conclusion

In this episode, Ana and guest and Registered Clinical Counsellor, Fernanda Souza, explore family relationships and their impact on personal growth, behavioral patterns, attachment styles, topics important during midlife and beyond.

1. Family of Origin:

• Defined as the family you were born into, including cultural and national identity.
• Influences include inherited values, unresolved traumas, and intergenerational wounds.

• Midlife is seen as a prolific time for self-reflection and reevaluating family dynamics.
• Revisiting personal identity and addressing unresolved issues with parents is common.

• Secure attachment develops through consistent parenting.
• Inconsistent parenting or unresolved parental trauma can lead to attachment insecurities.
• Adults can work on "naming and taming" their own attachment patterns to improve relationships.

• Cutting ties with parents is sometimes necessary but does not always leads to healing.
• Therapy can help clients explore ways to differentiate themselves from harmful dynamics while maintaining some connection, if feasible.
• Healing often involves symbolic reconciliation rather than literal distancing.

• Family patterns, including attachment styles, influence adult relationships and parenting approaches.
• Therapy helps individuals identify and adjust inherited behaviors that don't serve them well and stop intergenerational trauma.

Chapters

00:00 Navigating Adult Relationships with Parents

18:10 Understanding Attachment Styles and Their Impact

25:53 Resources for Healing and Growth

Related resources:

• Books by Sue Johnson: Hold Me Tight, Love Sense
• Esther Perel, Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author
• Drs. John and Julie Gottman, The Gottman Institute

Connect with us:

Instagram: From Midlife to Best Life

Disclaimer:

This podcast content is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. It is not intended to substitute the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional, diagnosis or treatment. Listeners should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In this episode, Ana and Iris discuss the challenges and significance of forming, maintaining, and deepening friendships as adults, reflecting on their personal experiences and sharing practical insights.

Challenges in Adult Friendships:

• Midlife friendship challenges include time constraints, competing priorities, lifestyle differences, and the complexities of maintaining friendships during life transitions (e.g., marriage, parenting, or divorce).
• Loneliness is highlighted as a growing epidemic with serious physical and emotional health implications.

Personal Insights:

• Ana shares the importance of intentional friendships as an introvert, emphasizing quality over quantity.
• Iris highlights the need for social connections as an extrovert, reflecting on how friendship plays a stabilizing role in her life.

The Role of Empathy and Intentionality:

• Building meaningful friendships requires effort, including understanding friends' needs and love languages, engaging in difficult conversations, and being present for one another.
• The episode emphasizes that friendships should align with personal values and provide mutual fulfillment.

Social and Emotional Value of Friendships:

• Friendships are framed as an antidote to loneliness and a source of deep connection.
• The hosts discuss how social prescriptions, like shared activities, can enhance well-being.

Practical Advice:

• Suggestions include diversifying sources of emotional support, cultivating empathy, learning to have difficult conversations, and being intentional about nurturing friendships.

Reflection Questions:

• On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the highest, rate your level of satisfaction on the friendships in your life right now. Are you happy with it? If not and if you would like to make it higher, what would you do? Where would you go about looking for new friends? Share in the comments as we'd love to hear from you.

Chapters:

00:00 Exploring Adult Friendships 02:34 The Role of Friendships in Our Lives 05:46 Challenges of Making Friends in Midlife 08:44 Navigating Life Transitions and Friendships 11:40 The Importance of Social Connections 14:45 Being a Good Friend 17:18 Empathy and Support in Friendships 20:30 The Impact of Loneliness 23:09 Lessons Learned About Friendships 26:00 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Related resources:

• The Roots of Loneliness Project
• Book by Vivek Murthy, the 19th Surgeon General of the United States: Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World
• Psychology Today article: 12 Ways to Make Friends in Mid-Life and Beyond

Connect with us:

• Instagram: From Midlife to Best Life

Disclaimer

This podcast content is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. It is not intended to substitute the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional, diagnosis or treatment. Listeners should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

This is a podcast dedicated to celebrating one of the most empowered, fun and challenging phases of life - midlife. Podcast hosts Iris and Ana (proud midlifers) invite their audience in on friendly, authentic and important conversations about anything related to midlife: relationships, career, transitions and other rich topics. They share personal stories, research insights, and learnings from their daily lives to inspire folks approaching or living midlife embrace fulfilling and rewarding lives.

In this episode of a brand-new podcast hosted by Iris Cai and Ana Yun, two Vancouverites and friends who like to contemplate life as they go through it, address what midlife is and challenge listeners to see what is commonly associated with aging and decline in a whole different light.

Iris and Ana share insights from a few thought leaders who define midlife as a rich period for reflection, growth, and transformation.

The hosts discuss important questions, struggles and experiences that surface around life’s “mid-point”, including personal values, individuation, cognitive dissonance and the quest for deeper life’s meaning.

At the end of this episode, Iris leaves the audience with an open question to contemplate: what are your values? And if you are unclear on those, what would you do to figure them out? Check out resources below to help you on this quest.

Related resources:

Brene Brown: living into our values

Iris Cai: find your spark reflection

Connect with us:

From Midlife to Best life instagram

Watch this episode on YouTube

Disclaimer:

This podcast content is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. It is not intended to substitute the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional, diagnosis or treatment. Listeners should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.