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How do I become harder to deceive without becoming harder as a person?

Over the last couple of years, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to improve my health. That journey led me through fitness trends, natural-health claims, quick fixes, social-media rabbit holes, and more than a few promises that sounded a lot better than they actually held up.

But somewhere along the way, something changed.

I stopped only questioning the claims—and started questioning myself.

Why wasn’t this working for me? Why wasn’t I seeing the results I had been promised? Was I doing something wrong?

Eventually, that frustration led me toward a much bigger question: How do I learn to recognize what is true without becoming suspicious of everything and everyone around me?

That question is the beginning of Serpents & Doves.

In Matthew 10:16, Jesus tells His disciples to be “wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” I’ve been sitting with both sides of that invitation.

I want wisdom. I want to look closer. I don’t want to believe something just because somebody says it confidently.

But I also don’t want skepticism to turn me cynical, defensive, or constantly looking for someone to fight.

And apparently, I didn’t have to wait long to have that tested.

After releasing the trailer for this series, criticism showed up almost immediately. My first instinct was to respond, defend myself, and prove my point. A conversation with my wife made me stop and ask a different question:

What happens to me if I keep taking the bait?

That question eventually brought me back to the way Jesus used His words, His time, and His attention—and to another teaching of Christ:

“By their fruits ye shall know them.”

Maybe discernment isn’t only about identifying when somebody else is wrong.

Maybe it’s also asking:

What fruit is this producing in me?

The voices I listen to.
The content I consume.
The arguments I participate in.
The things I believe, repeat, and defend.

What are they turning me into?

I don’t have discernment figured out.

That’s why this isn’t a lesson.

It’s a reflection.

I’m trying to become wiser without becoming colder, more discerning without losing charity, and more committed to truth without turning truth into a weapon.

Wise as serpents. Harmless as doves.

Scripture References

• Matthew 10:16 — Wise as serpents and harmless as doves
• Matthew 7:16–20 — “By their fruits ye shall know them”
• John 13:35 — Christ’s disciples known by their love
• Luke 23:8–9 — Jesus before Herod
• John 18:33–38 — Jesus before Pilate

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When did disagreement start feeling like war?

Contention rarely begins with something enormous. Sometimes it starts with irritation. A disagreement at work. Someone cutting you off in traffic. A comment that hits wrong. A family member asking a question when you're already carrying more frustration than you know what to do with.

Then something shifts.

Anger starts looking for another offense. Retaliation promises that we'll feel better if we just hit back. Concern can sound like criticism. Kindness becomes suspicious. And before long, we may stop seeing the person in front of us and start seeing only what they've done wrong.

In the final episode of Shadows, Justin reflects honestly on his own struggle with anger and contention—including road rage, frustration at work, and a painful moment when his daughter simply asked, “Dad, why are you so angry?”

Through the words of Jesus Christ in 3 Nephi, James's warning about the tongue becoming a fire, the wisdom of Proverbs, and Mormon's description of charity, this episode explores a difficult question:

What happens when anger stops being something we feel and becomes something we allow to drive?

This isn't a story about conquering anger.

The struggle isn't neatly finished. The conversations haven't all been repaired. There isn't a perfect success story waiting at the end.

Instead, it's a reflection on learning to pause before the fuse burns, hearing another side before assuming we already understand it, and remembering that the Savior sees more in us than our worst moments.

Because contention says, Remember what they did.

Christ invites us to remember who they are.

And maybe one of the most important questions we can ask when anger begins to take over is:

Am I seeing this person… or am I only seeing the offense?

This is the final chapter of Shadows.

Twelve episodes. Twelve different lies, patterns, and distractions.

And through every one of them, the answer keeps leading back to the same place:

Jesus Christ.

References

• 3 Nephi 11:28–30 — Jesus Christ teaches concerning contention and being stirred to contend with anger.
• James 3:5–10 — James compares the tongue to a small fire capable of creating tremendous damage.
• Proverbs 18:13, 17 — The danger of responding before hearing and assuming we understand a matter before hearing another side.
• Moroni 7:45–48 — Charity, the pure love of Christ, is patient, not easily provoked, and seeks to see others through Christlike love.
• James 1:19–20 — “Swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”
• Russell M. Nelson, “Peacemakers Needed,” April 2023 General Conference — President Nelson taught that disciples of Jesus Christ are called to choose reconciliation and peacemaking over contention.

Read “Peacemakers Needed” on ChurchofJesusChrist.org

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“I’ve still got time.”

It sounds harmless.

A week becomes a few days. A few days become tomorrow. Tomorrow becomes a few hours. And before long, something important has been pushed aside simply because we assumed there would always be more time.

In Episode 11 of Shadows, I’m reflecting on complacency—not as laziness or not caring, but as the quiet habit of postponing the things that matter most.

I see it at work when small tasks pile up. I see it in scripture study when something less important grabs my attention first. And I’ve seen it in some of the moments I regret most as a dad—times when my kids asked me to be present and I thought, “In a minute.”

Sometimes the adversary doesn’t have to convince us that something important doesn’t matter.

Maybe he only has to convince us:

“It can wait.”

Through 2 Nephi 28, Haggai, Luke 10, Doctrine and Covenants 64, and James 4, this episode explores what it means to become aware of the drift—and how sometimes coming back doesn’t require a dramatic overhaul.

Sometimes it starts with one small choice.

One prayer.

One conversation.

One moment of putting the phone down and simply saying:

“I’m here.”

Scriptures & References

2 Nephi 28:21 — “Pacify, and lull them away into carnal security” and the warning that “all is well.”
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/28?lang=eng

Haggai 1 — “Consider your ways,” and the danger of continually postponing what matters.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/ot/hag/1?lang=eng

Luke 10:38–42 — Mary and Martha; being “careful and troubled about many things” while overlooking the “one thing” that is needful.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/luke/10?lang=eng

Doctrine and Covenants 64:33 — “Be not weary in well-doing” and “out of small things proceedeth that which is great.”
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/64?lang=eng

James 4:13–14 — “Ye know not what shall be on the morrow.”
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/james/4?lang=eng