In this episode of From Darkness to Life, Poncho sits down with Alison for a candid look at the side of trauma we don’t hear about enough: life as the partner of a first responder. As her husband’s world changed, Alison found herself holding the family together, protecting her children, and pushing her own needs aside—until she reached a breaking point.

With honesty and vulnerability, Alison shares the guilt of wanting more, the moment she nearly walked away, and the small signs that began to bring hope back into their home. Their conversation explores treatment, finding support, and learning that caring for someone else doesn’t mean your own happiness stops mattering.

If you’ve ever wondered who supports the person supporting everyone else, this conversation is for you. Listen to Alison’s story of finding her voice—and a way forward.

From Darkness to Life | S07E02 | Alison

TABLE OF CONTENTS (41:11).

00:00 Opening hook: “I can’t do this”

00:15 Introduction and reaching out for support

00:37 Poncho introduces Alison and the hidden side of PTSD

03:12 What partners wish people understood

05:36 The day everything changed

09:02 Holding the family together

12:31 When your own needs disappear

15:48 Nearly leaving—and reaching a breaking point

19:44 Guilt, resentment, and whose feelings matter

21:04 Protecting the children without losing yourself

23:06 When past wounds resurface

24:55 Finding support and healing for yourself

26:30 Choosing treatment and a way forward together

28:35 Small victories: smiles, affection, and reconnection

31:43 Navigating triggers and everyday challenges

34:26 What peace looks like now

36:20 Family pride, support, and deserving happiness

38:24 Alison’s message: you are not alone

40:22 Closing message, support information, and credits

In this inaugural episode of Season 7 of From Darkness to Life, Poncho Parker is joined by Cody Lawrence in the beautiful, historic Monarch Theatre... Canada’s oldest purpose-built movie theatre in Medicine Hat Alberta.

Cody shares an unflinchingly honest story of addiction, overwhelming grief, and the night he reached his personal rock bottom. After surviving a suicide attempt and experiencing relapse, he discovered that recovery was not a single decision, but a daily commitment to honesty, gratitude, connection, and growth.

Today, Cody draws on his lived experience, his art, and his work at the Medicine Hat Recovery Centre to help others find their own path forward. His journey is a powerful reminder that our darkest chapters do not have to define how our stories end—and that even the smallest grain of hope can illuminate the way back to life.

His message to anyone struggling is simple: “Never quit quitting.”

Table of Contents

00:00 — Opening teaser: “Never quit quitting”

00:16 — Our Collective Journey support message

00:38 — Episode introduction and Cody Lawrence’s story

02:59 — Meeting “Cody 2.0”

04:50 — Cody’s early life and substance use

06:30 — Recognizing the warning signs

08:06 — When addiction began to catch up

08:44 — Grief, suicide, and repeated loss

11:46 — Losing hope and facing an uncertain future

14:44 — Cody’s suicide attempt and survival

16:59 — Rock bottom, honesty, and asking for help

17:34 — The unwavering support of Cody’s mother

18:01 — Addiction as a coping mechanism

19:59 — Resilience and the power of the human spirit

21:14 — Waking up alive: clarity and a grain of hope

22:44 — Why asking for help can be so difficult

24:05 — Entering treatment for the first time

26:28 — Wanting recovery versus being ready

28:11 — Returning home and repairing relationships

31:24 — Relapse and trying to outrun the problem

31:53 — The 2023 turning point

33:12 — The gratitude practice that changed everything

35:35 — Grieving the old Cody

36:52 — Turning pain into purpose

38:41 — The value of lived experience

39:47 — Rediscovering art through recovery

42:02 — What gives Cody hope today

43:02 — His daughter’s essay and the impact on his family

45:43 — Cody’s final message of hope

46:06 — “Never quit quitting”

46:24 — Closing reflections

47:20 — Our Collective Journey outro and credits

Recorded live at SARRCON, this From Darkness to Life (Our Collective Journey) episode features Medicine Hat business owner and city councillor Chris Hellman sharing how escalating alcohol use and worsening mental health after COVID led to isolation, depression, and not caring if he lived. He describes how his wife, parents, and especially his sister intervened with a careful plan that got him into a Vancouver Island (Duncan/Victoria area) treatment centre, where he detoxed, completed 60 days, and returned home with shame and fear of stigma before gradually rebuilding through therapy, medical support, 12-step meetings, peer support work, and community connection. Chris discusses service gaps, transitional housing, and how gentle, non-judgmental support and listening helped him find hope and sustain 17 months of sobriety.

https://ourcollectivejourney.ca/podcast

Facebook: our collective journey.

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