In Fishing Without Bait 526, we continue our conversation with Vic Costik of the New Rust Pittsburgh Podcast. In Part 2, Vic joins Jim Ellermeyer for a thoughtful discussion about identity, community, safety, recovery and the daily work of becoming a more compassionate person.

Vic explains why they try to approach ignorance through “neutral inquiry,” beginning with questions rather than immediate confrontation. The conversation examines the experiences of transgender people navigating public spaces, the importance of listening to people when they tell us who they are and the need to create communities in which people feel welcomed rather than merely tolerated.

Vic also discusses their commitment to Pittsburgh’s LGBTQ+ community and the fear that has caused some transgender people to leave their homes in search of safer places. That concern helped inspire Vic’s community involvement and ultimately contributed to the creation of New Rust Pittsburgh.

Jim and Vic connect these ideas to the principles of 12-step recovery, including acceptance, accountability, making amends and changing both thoughts and actions. They consider the pain of perfectionism and the healing that can begin when we acknowledge our flaws, accept responsibility and reconstruct ourselves through what we have learned.

The conversation then turns toward the overlooked side of Pittsburgh. Vic describes the artists, entrepreneurs, makers, small businesses and unusual creative communities that exist throughout the city. From strangers playing music together before the Fourth of July fireworks to the Andy Warhol Museum, neighborhood restaurants, local shops and nighttime bike rides across the Smithfield Street Bridge, Vic shares the memories that have made Pittsburgh feel like home.

The episode closes with a discussion about authenticity, privilege, personal boundaries and relationships. Vic reflects on overcoming people-pleasing, cultivating relationships with people who provide encouragement and stepping away from relationships that repeatedly cause harm.

Ultimately, New Rust Pittsburgh is more than a guide to interesting places. It is Vic’s effort to create a love letter to Pittsburgh—one that embraces the city’s people, creativity, weirdness and potential to become a more welcoming home for everyone.

Explore the New Rust Pittsburgh Podcast at NewRustPodcast.com.

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In Episode 525 of Fishing Without Bait, Jim Ellermeyer welcomes Vic Costik for Part 1 of a conversation about community, authenticity, connection, and finding the courage to become more fully yourself.

Vic is a designer, community advocate, and the creator of New Rust, a podcast exploring Pittsburgh’s transformation through the individual stories of people doing interesting things throughout the city.

Growing up surrounded by the enormous crowds of New York City, Vic expected proximity to people to create connection. Instead, it was moving to Pittsburgh that showed him what community could truly feel like.

Vic talks with Jim about discovering Pittsburgh’s LGBTQ community, building a found family, participating in the city’s creative and wonderfully unusual spaces, and realizing how helping others can create a support network in return. From jam nights and local zines to simply meeting people doing something they care about, Vic explains why Pittsburgh’s smaller communities became so important to him.

The conversation also explores judgment, curiosity, and what can happen when we approach unfamiliar experiences with a willingness to listen instead of immediately forming conclusions. Vic shares stories of talking with coworkers who had little or no previous experience with transgender people and choosing conversation as an opportunity to create understanding.

Vic also reflects candidly on his own journey toward authenticity. He discusses growing up without the language to understand what he was experiencing, repressing parts of himself, getting married to his high school sweetheart, and eventually recognizing that the life he was living did not feel like his own.

As Vic puts it, transitioning allowed him to “meet myself for the 1st time.”

What followed was more than a change in identity. Vic discovered a version of himself who loves being around people, participating in his community, sharing ideas, and embracing the wonderfully weird interests that make each person unique.

This is Part 1 of our conversation with Vic Costik. The conversation continues in the next episode of Fishing Without Bait.

Learn more about Vic’s New Rust podcast at NewRustPodcast.com.

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Fishing Without Bait 524 presents the third and final part of Jim Ellermeyer’s conversation with Missy Sorg about political differences, social-media behavior and the possibility of maintaining meaningful relationships with people who do not share our beliefs.

Rather than trying to win a debate, Jim and Missy examine what happens when people listen to respond instead of listening to learn. They discuss the echo chambers created by social media, the pressure to react immediately and the assumptions people make based on political labels. Jim introduces the space between stimulus and response as the place where choice and freedom can be found.

Missy speaks candidly about her experiences working with Republican candidates and organizations. She explains why she does not automatically block every hostile commenter, how she decides when a response crosses the line and what can happen when community members answer an argument with research and supporting information.

She also shares a personal story about telling a longtime Democratic friend that she was a Republican. Although he was initially shocked, the two eventually talked openly about their differences. He did not change his political position, but he was able to tell her, “I still don't agree with it, but I don't hate you.” Their friendship survived because they chose curiosity and conversation over assumptions.

The discussion also looks at the effect constant screen use can have on attention, emotional health and sleep. Missy describes replacing nighttime doomscrolling with physical books and noticing improvements in her sleep and overall outlook. Jim and Missy encourage listeners to become more intentional about how social media is used instead of allowing it to become a form of constant maintenance.

This episode is not about convincing everyone to agree. It is an invitation to pause, ask questions, listen actively and remember that a political designation does not represent the entirety of another human being.

Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait on your preferred podcast player so you never miss an episode.

Support the program and receive ad-free episodes through Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait

Continue the mindfulness journey with “Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book”:
https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4