You’ve come out, told your partner, and gotten the okay — now how do you actually find a guy? Sam and Grayson turn this one into a field guide for bi and bicurious men: the health prep to handle first, a platform-by-platform tour, how to build a profile that works, first-contact etiquette, red flags, negotiation, the vibe check, and the encounter itself — down to the aftermath. Plus listener feedback, a Word of the Week, and cautionary meetup-gone-wrong stories.

Heads up: 18+, adults only.

Disclaimer: The hosts aren’t medical or mental-health professionals. Nothing here is medical, legal, or psychological advice — speak with a qualified provider about your own health and relationships.

Word of the Week: NPNC — No Pic, No Chat.

Terms this week

• PrEP — medication taken before exposure to prevent HIV.
• DoxyPEP — doxycycline taken after a risky encounter (ideally within 24 hrs) to reduce syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea risk.
• Side — a guy who enjoys non-penetrative sex over anal.
• DL / down low — men seeking discreet same-sex encounters without being out or with their partner’s knowledge.
• Vibe check — a low-stakes public meet to confirm identity and comfort before playing.

Resource of the Week: DAP Health — A Guide to Safely Hooking Up Online, a safety checklist and hookup-lingo guide.

Apps & sites we covered

• Grindr — best-known hookup app; fast, location-based.
• Sniffies — web-based real-time map; heavy hookup/DL traffic.
• Scruff — gay dating/hookup app; solid messaging, flat price.
• Squirt, Adam4Adam, Manhunt — web-based cruising/hookup sites.
• Feeld — open-minded singles and couples; kink, poly, ENM friendly.
• Tinder — mainstream dating/hookups; good for same-sex matches without paying.
• SLS, SDC, Kasidie — swinger/lifestyle sites; strong in some regions.

Also: Reddit (r4r), sex-positive Discord servers, and IRL — gay bars, bathhouses, jack-off clubs.

Next episode: Coming Out — not to your partner, but friends, family, and your own kids (if applicable). Join us.

Listen and subscribe here, and a rating or review helps other men find us!

Connect with us: Email podcast@bimenunfiltered.com with questions, topics, or your own story (write “OK for air” if we can read it on the show — and if you’d like to come on as a guest, same address). Find us at @BiMenUnfiltered on Facebook, Instagram, Threads, and X, and at BiMenUnfiltered.com on Bluesky.