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In 2016, filmmaker Laura O’Grady reached out after reading about me in Impact magazine. She wanted to make a documentary. Side-by-side footage: my CrossFit life and my real CF life. Each week of the five-week Open, she’d film me competing, then cut to the truth—the coughing, the pounding, the transplant list interviews, the clinic visits.

When it launched in July 2017, it went viral on the biggest platform in the fitness world. But that was just the beginning.

Telus TV funded the project through their Storyline program. They promoted it on cable networks across Canada. Suddenly, my aunt in Prince George texted me—she’d seen a clip on CNN. People across Alberta, Saskatchewan, and BC were texting me that they’d seen me on their screens.

The documentary opened doors. It gave me credibility, a platform, a different audience for my fundraising. We raised $40,000 over four years with the Burpees for Breath challenge.

But it also trapped me in a narrative I couldn’t escape. When you become the inspiration, you become trapped in the miracle. You can’t admit you’re struggling. You can’t tell the truth. You have to keep producing the miracle for everyone else.

This is Episode 8: The story of how a documentary that was supposed to show my truth became the thing that buried it deeper.

Nicole’s Notes—where I’m finally dropping the mask and telling you what’s really true.