In this heartfelt episode, Cole James interviews Deborah Brown, founder of GIFTS (Grief Information for Teachers and Services), a UK-based initiative focused on supporting children through grief using the Grief Recovery Method. Deborah shares her deeply personal journey through grief, beginning with the death of her mother in 2013 and then her sister in 2016. Both losses were profound and compounded by the pressure to “stay strong” for her children, which led Deborah to suppress her own emotions and carry the weight of unprocessed grief.

Her turning point came after a colleague gently encouraged her to seek support, helping her realize that staying busy wasn't healing. That moment prompted her to explore resources, though she struggled to find a grief tool that actually helped—until she encountered the Grief Recovery Method. Deborah later became a certified specialist and began teaching the Helping Children with Loss course to educators, health professionals, clergy, and others who work with children.

Through her experiences, Deborah recognized that unresolved grief in children is often overlooked—especially when it comes to losses like divorce, terminal illness in the family, or even the death of a pet. In response, she developed the Lessons in Loss journal series to give kids a safe outlet to process emotions. These include guides for specific events such as losing a parent, suicide, imprisonment of a loved one, and more. Each journal is paired with an adult support guide to equip parents, teachers, and caregivers with practical tools to engage with grieving children.

The episode emphasizes the urgent need for adults to do their own grief work so they can model healthy emotional processing for children. As Cole notes, “We can't help kids grieve well if we haven't done it ourselves.” Both he and Deborah challenge leaders and parents to be courageous in facing their own pain—because dysregulated adults can’t support dysregulated children.

Deborah ends by encouraging listeners to reflect on what might be holding them back from healing and to take action. Her final words: “You need to be able to complete with that… Put yourself first, and don’t take anything except the absolute best for you.”

Connect with Deborah: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Mrs-Deborah-Jane-Brown/author/B0CCZW3KTZ?ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=d7124efd-a0c2-4833-a155-a528ab5481a8

Timestamps:

00:00 – From Grief to Purpose: Deborah’s Story Begins

03:35 – The Loss That Changed Everything

06:45 – A Second Blow: Losing Her Sister Too Soon

10:01 – When Staying Busy Becomes a Mask

13:45 – Anger, Denial, and the Misuse of Grief Stages

17:05 – Grieving Children Are Everywhere—and Often Missed

22:00 – The Power of the Grief Recovery Method

25:41 – Teaching Teachers to Heal: The HCWL Course

29:25 – Why We Must Equip Adults Before We Can Heal Children

33:50 – Lessons in Loss: Journals That Give Kids a Voice

In this episode of the Feel Free Again podcast, Cole James interviews Dr. Emőke Sarungi, a psychiatrist and the leader of the Grief Recovery Institute in Hungary.

They discuss Dr. Emőke personal journey with grief, the establishment of the Grief Recovery Institute, and the importance of addressing grief in living relationships. Dr. Emőke shares her experiences with college students and how the grief recovery method has transformed her life and the lives of others. The conversation emphasizes the significance of emotional communication and creating a supportive community for grievers.

In this conversation, Cole James and Dr. Emőke Sarungi explore the profound impact of relationships on emotional health, the journey of navigating cancer, and the importance of grief recovery. Dr. Emőke shares her personal experiences with cancer and how the grief recovery method has helped her cope with her emotions and maintain connections with loved ones.

Connect with Dr. Emőke Sarungi:https://sarungi.hu/index.php/bemutatkozas/

The Grief Recovery Method® originated in the USA in the 1970s from the Grief Recovery Institute founded and led by John W. James and Russell Friedman. Since then, centers that use the method and train grief recovery method specialists have been established and are operating in several countries and in Hungary. Under the leadership of Andrea Herke Dahlgren, a grief recovery method specialist trained in Sweden and Los Angeles, the method has been taught in Hungary since 2009 at the Grief Recovery Method® Hungary center, both in groups and individually, to help grieving people and people who have experienced a variety of emotional losses (divorce, breakup, job loss, loss of trust, moving, etc.). Based on the feedback from hundreds of participants so far and the results of the research conducted at the center so far, the self-help method can be effective in processing a variety of emotional losses and in preventing physical and mental health damage caused by unprocessed grief.

The professional director of the center since 2012 is Dr. Emőke Sarungi, an adult and child psychiatrist, group analytical psychotherapist, and Grief Recovery Method® Trainer. She completed the Grief Recovery Specialist training at the Grief Recovery Institute in Los Angeles/Sherman Oaks in 2011 and 2015 with Russell Friedman, one of the developers of the method and the author of the book.

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Grief Recovery and Its Importance

02:14 - Emőke's Journey to the Grief Recovery Method

06:01 - Establishing the Grief Recovery Institute in Hungary

09:36 - Engaging College Students with Grief Recovery

13:27 - Personal Grief: Emőke's Experience with Her Father's Passing

18:33 - The Impact of Grief Recovery on Living Relationships

22:46 - Creating a Supportive Community for Grievers

25:54 - Navigating Grief in Different Contexts

29:32 - The Importance of Grief Recovery Before Losses Occur

32:30 - The Importance of Relationships

35:08 - Navigating Cancer and Emotional Recovery

41:01 - Grief and the Body: A Personal Journey

44:43 - The Impact of Grief on Health

48:08 - Growing the Grief Recovery Method in Europe

53:23 - Empowering Future Helpers

Cole James welcomes husband and wife duo Alfonzo and Gwendolyn Jones to share their powerful transformation story through the Grief Recovery Method. Gwendolyn first discovered the method during a personal season of feeling lost and purposeless. After reading The Grief Recovery Handbook on the recommendation of her pastor, she got certified and experienced a profound emotional breakthrough. Her personal transformation inspired Alfonzo to get certified as well—even though he originally didn’t think he “needed” it.

Together, they used the tools not just individually, but to heal their marriage—most notably by completing “relationship graphs” and grief letters for each other, which unearthed years of unresolved pain and brought deep emotional healing. They describe how grief recovery shifted their communication from surface-level and combative to emotionally honest and heart-centered, using tools like active listening, emotional paraphrasing, and intentional vulnerability.

As parents, the method helped them radically change how they connect with their children. They started creating safe, open environments where feelings were heard and validated—replacing harmful “be strong” messaging with empathy and emotional tools. Gwendolyn shares how she had to re-learn affection with her daughter, and Alfonzo highlights how seeing grief as 100% real for each person—even if it's just a lost crayon—changed how he parented.

The couple now integrates these tools into leadership coaching and everyday life, encouraging others to do the personal work that leads to relational healing and generational change. They emphasize that grief is not limited to death or divorce but includes losses of identity, safety, trust, and more. Their closing message: doing this work personally is essential before we can lead, parent, or love well.

Where to find them:

Gwendolyn: GwendolynJJones.com

Alfonzo: TrifectaPrime.com