Having a baby is a huge life transition. Having a baby in a foreign country — while trying to navigate a complicated bureaucracy in a language that isn't your own — can add a whole other layer of overwhelm.

In this episode of Expecting Expats, we talk with Marijke, co-founder of Elterngeld Help, about one of the less glamorous realities of expat family life in Germany: paperwork.

From figuring out whether you're eligible for Elterngeld to understanding the difference between Basiselterngeld and ElterngeldPlus, there is a lot to understand — and many international parents don't realise just how much planning can affect the benefits they receive.

Marijke shares her own experience of becoming a parent in Germany as a Dutch-British expat, including navigating the system as a self-employed, privately insured parent. Her experience of trying to understand a 23-page Elterngeld application eventually inspired her and her husband to create Elterngeld Help, a tool designed to make the process more accessible for international families.

In this episode, we talk about:

• ​Why German bureaucracy can feel particularly overwhelming for international parents
• ​The emotional and mental load of navigating paperwork during the postpartum period
• ​What Elterngeld is and who may be eligible
• ​The differences between Basiselterngeld and ElterngeldPlus
• ​How working part-time can affect your Elterngeld
• ​Why self-employed parents need to understand how their income is calculated
• ​How having another child can affect your Elterngeld calculation
• ​Why it's important to understand your eligibility rather than assuming you don't qualify
• ​How visa status can affect Elterngeld eligibility
• ​Why some families wait months before receiving their first payment
• ​The importance of planning ahead if you're self-employed or considering having another baby
• ​Additional considerations for families with premature babies, twins, triplets or children with disabilities
• ​And why asking for support isn't a sign that you're failing — especially when you're navigating parenthood abroad

About Elterngeld Help:

Marijke runs Elterngeld Help, an English-language service for parents applying for Elterngeld in Germany. Free eligibility check, calculator and month planner. If you'd rather not fight the 23-page German form yourself, they'll go through your situation on a call and send back your complete, filled-in application within 48 hours. You sign it and send it off.

Expecting Expats listeners get €30 off that service, €149 instead of €179, with code EXPECTING30.

👉 Find out more: elterngeldhelp.com

More from Amanda & CJ

🌍 CJ — Worlds Apart Counseling

CJ is a couples therapist who works with expat and international couples, helping partners navigate the unique challenges that can come with building a relationship and family across cultures.

👉 Worlds Apart Counseling

🌿 Amanda — Mindful Mama Frankfurt

Amanda is a childbirth educator and doula offering childbirth education and support for international families in Frankfurt, with classes available in English.

👉 Mindful Mama Frankfurt

Podcasts we recommend 🎧

As always, we ended the episode by sharing what we've been listening to lately.

Marijke recommends: 🎧 Child — a BBC/Channel 4 podcast she listened to during pregnancy. She found it informative and reassuring, particularly because it helped her understand what was happening in her body throughout pregnancy.

Amanda recommends:🎧 The Mel Robbins Podcast — Amanda has been listening to Mel Robbins again and particularly enjoyed a recent episode featuring an orthopaedic surgeon and longevity specialist, discussing ways women can support their long-term health and strength as they age.

CJ recommends:🎧 Real Survival Stories — CJ has been listening to this podcast before falling asleep and particularly recommends the episode “Saved by a Humpback Whale,” a fascinating and touching story about a researcher who has an extraordinary encounter with a humpback whale.

Some conversations are simply too valuable to leave in the archives.

In this special re-release of Expecting Expats, we're taking you back to one of our favourite early episodes, when CJ and former co-host Kari sat down with birth doula and GentleBirth instructor Amanda while both eagerly awaiting the arrival of their baby boys.

At the time of this recording, Kari and CJ were preparing for birth themselves, and Amanda guided them through what it really means to prepare—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally—for one of life's biggest transitions.

As a birth doula and GentleBirth instructor, Amanda's approach has always centred on helping women feel informed, confident, and empowered. Rather than focusing on achieving one specific type of birth, she encourages parents to build the knowledge, mindset, and tools they need to make decisions that feel right for them, no matter how their birth unfolds.

For families navigating pregnancy abroad, this message can feel even more important. Different healthcare systems, unfamiliar birth practices, language barriers, and being far from your usual support network can leave many expectant parents feeling uncertain. Amanda reminds us that while we can't control every aspect of birth, we can prepare ourselves, understand our options, and advocate for our needs.

What is GentleBirth?

GentleBirth is a childbirth education and mindset programme that combines evidence-based birth education with mindfulness, breathing techniques, sports psychology, and cognitive training. Its goal isn't to promise a perfect or pain-free birth—instead, it helps parents develop confidence, resilience, and practical coping strategies so they can approach labour feeling calm, informed, and empowered.

One of the core principles Amanda shares throughout this episode is that every woman deserves autonomy during birth. Understanding your options, asking questions, making informed decisions, and having a supportive birth partner can make a significant difference to your overall birth experience.

In this episode, we talk about:

* What GentleBirth is and how it differs from traditional birth preparation

* Preparing mentally and emotionally for labour

* Building confidence before birth

* Why autonomy and informed decision-making matter

* How birth partners can become your greatest source of support

* Letting go of the idea of the "perfect" birth

* Preparing for birth while living abroad

* Feeling empowered, regardless of how your birth unfolds

Our Favourite Expat Parenting Tips from This Episode:

✨ Learn about your birth options before labour begins.

✨ Choose a birth partner who understands how to advocate for your wishes.

✨ Preparation isn't about controlling birth—it's about building confidence and flexibility.

✨ Ask questions and don't be afraid to speak up for yourself.

✨ Remember that every birth is unique, and there is no single "right" way to give birth.

A Reminder for Every Expectant Parent

Birth rarely goes exactly as planned, but preparation can help you meet the unexpected with confidence.

Whether you're planning a home birth, hospital birth, medicated birth, or caesarean birth, Amanda's message remains the same: you deserve to understand your choices, feel supported, and have a voice throughout your birth experience.

For anyone navigating pregnancy while living abroad, this episode offers reassurance that knowledge, preparation, and the right support can help you feel more confident wherever in the world you're giving birth.

Because empowering parents doesn't begin when the baby arrives—it begins during pregnancy.

We hope you enjoy revisiting this special conversation with Amanda, and if you're hearing it for the first time, we hope it leaves you feeling informed, inspired, and ready to approach birth with confidence.

Find out more about Amanda’s work here: https://www.mindfulmamafrankfurt.com

Find CJ here: www.worldsapartcounseling.com

What happens when your family life changes dramatically while living far from home? In this heartfelt and deeply honest episode of Expecting Expats, we sit down with author, speaker, and founder of Ignite Spark, Louisette Winkel, to discuss one of the most challenging topics many families face: navigating separation and divorce while raising children abroad.

As an expat mother of three, Louisette shares her personal journey of moving from the Netherlands to Germany, building a new life abroad, and later facing an unexpected separation. Through her story, she offers powerful insights into resilience, personal growth, and creating a healthy co-parenting relationship that keeps children's wellbeing at the centre.

Together, we explore how expat parenting can become even more complex during major life transitions, especially when you're far from your usual support systems and navigating different legal systems, languages, and cultural expectations.

This episode is filled with practical advice, hope, and reminders that even in life's most difficult moments, it's possible to create stability, connection, and a new vision for your family.

In this episode, we talk about:

* Navigating separation and divorce while living abroad

* How expat life can add additional challenges to co-parenting

* Supporting children through major family transitions

* Creating a new family structure after divorce

* Why personal growth is essential during difficult seasons of life

* Helping children feel safe and heard during change

* The importance of communication and collaboration in co-parenting

* Finding community and rebuilding your support system as an expat parent

* Creating new family traditions and redefining what family looks like

Key Takeaways for Expat Parents

✨ Children need honesty, reassurance, and stability during periods of change.

✨ It's okay to acknowledge your own grief while still supporting your children.

✨ Co-parenting works best when parents focus on what they can control and keep their children's needs at the centre.

✨ Building a new version of family life takes time, patience, and flexibility.

✨ Seeking professional support, such as family or play therapy, can make a huge difference during transitions.

Our Favourite Expat Parenting Tips from This Episode:

* Keep communication open and age-appropriate with your children.

* Involve children in conversations about new family routines when possible.

* Inform schools and caregivers about major changes happening at home.

* Lean on your community and ask for support when you need it.

* Focus on creating a sense of safety and consistency for your children.

* Remember that healing and rebuilding take time.

A Reminder for Every Expat Parent

Separation and divorce are never easy, and navigating them while living abroad can feel especially overwhelming. But this episode is a powerful reminder that there is no perfect way to move through difficult transitions.

With patience, support, and intentional communication, families can find a new rhythm and create a version of expat family life that still feels loving, connected, and secure.

Whether you're currently navigating separation, supporting a friend through it, or simply looking for expat parenting tips and insights into building resilient families abroad, this conversation offers compassion, practical advice, and hope.

Because sometimes the greatest gift we can give our children is showing them that even in difficult seasons, families can adapt, heal, and grow together.

Connect with Louisette Winkel

Book: Flip Your Script

Instagram: @ignitespark4u

Website: https://www.ignitespark4u.com