『Episode 972: The Power of Small Talk』のカバーアート

Episode 972: The Power of Small Talk

Episode 972: The Power of Small Talk

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Synopsis Small talk isn’t about filling silence. It’s about opening doors. The goal is to express genuine interest. One thoughtful question creates a conversation. One conversation creates a relationship. And one relationship can change a business — or even a life. Some Thoughtful Questions Who is your ideal client or referral partner?What’s something exciting that you’re working on that most people don’t know about yet?What’s a challenge you’re dealing with right now?What can I do to assist you with that?Who do you know that I could help right now?Before we wrap up, what’s one thing I should remember about you? In your BNI chapter and with other people you’ve met before, pick up a previous conversation, refer to something they’ve said in a presentation, or bring up something positive another member said about them. Choose three of the questions in this podcast and try them during Open Networking or in your next One-to-One. Links Listen to Episode 937: Try Smart Talk, Not Small Talk.Listen to Episode 943: What to Say to Boring People.Listen to Episode 946: Small Talk. The Official BNI Podcast is sponsored by Misner Audio Programs. Complete Transcript of Episode 972 Priscilla:Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Official BNI Podcast. I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California, and I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you? Ivan:I am doing great, and I am in Charlotte, North Carolina this week, today at BNI Global Support Office, and I’ll be talking to the staff and taking a look at the new museum room that has been set up, so I’m excited to be in Charlotte. Priscilla:So, what do you have to share with us? Ivan:Well, you know, I’ve been having a lot of people ask me about Small Talk, and I’ve done a couple of podcasts on it, and I’ve got some new content, some new material. So I thought I would talk about The Power of Small Talk, and how little conversations can develop into big relationships. I’m sure you’ve heard, I’ve certainly heard people say, “I’m just not good at small talk.” I hear that all the time. Priscilla:Oh, right, that’s a phrase. Ivan:Yeah, I’m just not good at small talk, or I don’t like small talk. Personally, I think small talk gets a bad reputation. The problem isn’t small talk, the problem is staying there in small talk. Small talk shouldn’t be the destination, it’s the doorway. And if you never walk through the doorway, you’re never going to build the kinds of relationships that generate referrals, generate opportunities that can build lifelong friendships. Networking isn’t about collecting business cards, it’s about collecting relationships, and relationships almost always begin with small talk, opening conversation. I recommend you do a search on small talk, and you’ll see a number of the podcasts that I’ve done on this, and this has some different content than what I had on those others. Many people think that they have to say something brilliant in the small talk. Well, you don’t. You just have to make the other person feel important. That is what you need to do. So, here’s something I’ve learned over 40 years of building BNI. Many people forget, they forget exactly what you say, but they’ll remember how you made them feel when your conversation makes someone feel interesting, respected, or appreciated. You’ve already separated yourself from most of the people that they’ll meet that day. So, what do you actually say? Let’s start with meeting someone for the first time, instead of asking, “So, what do you do?” Try asking, “What’s something good that’s been keeping you busy lately?” One [question] asks for a job title; the other invites a story, and people remember stories, they don’t remember job titles. Another question is, and I love this, “What do you enjoy most about what you do?” That question shifts people away from facts and towards passion. People light up when they talk about what they enjoy. Here’s another favorite. “How did you get into that?” Almost everyone has a story, and stories build a connection faster than resumes ever will. Since this is a BNI Podcast, here’s a question that every member should become comfortable asking, “Who is your ideal client or referral partner?” With that, you’re really asking, “Who can I help you meet?” Another great question is, “What’s one challenge you’re working through right now?” You know, helping people solve problems is where referrals begin, and relationships begin. And I know I’ve told stories about this, where I’ve asked a question about what’s one of the challenges. And you don’t want to lead with this question, because it’s not a good question to open with, but when somebody has talked a little bit to you, then you say, “...
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