Episode 9: Remember — When Your Story Begins to Make Sense
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Episode 9: Remember — When Your Story Begins to Make Sense
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In this episode of The Deeper by Design Podcast, Dr. Trevor Hislop continues the series through the six movements of the Renovi Flow from Renovi Relational Therapy: Reveal, Remember, Reframe, Repair, Rehearse, and Renew.
This episode focuses on the second movement: Remember.
Remember begins with the idea that we can’t heal a pattern we don’t understand. Our reactions usually have a history. The way we shut down, get defensive, overwork, people-please, control, withdraw, or feel shame often began somewhere.
But Remember is not about blaming the past, living in the past, or making excuses. It is about bringing our story into the light with honesty, compassion, and responsibility so we can understand how our story shaped our survival.
Dr. Trevor explores how family of origin, attachment, temperament, body-based memory, faith, and relational patterns shape how we respond in the present. Through personal story, clinical examples, and the RRT lens of protection and connection, he shows how what once helped us survive can eventually get in the way of deeper connection.
A key idea in this episode is: Protection is often a solution before it becomes a problem.
In this episode, Dr. Trevor discusses:
- Why our reactions usually have a history
- How family of origin shapes relational patterns
- Why protective strategies can become relational barriers
- How storywork helps us understand the meaning beneath the moment
- Why the past can show up in the present through the nervous system
- How couples and leaders can begin to recognize repeated cycles
- Why Remember holds compassion and responsibility together
- How grief, safety, and support are part of relational renewal
A key takeaway: This reaction makes sense in light of my story, but it does not have to rule my relationship.
Sometimes the beginning of change is not trying harder.
Sometimes the beginning of change is finally understanding why the pattern made sense.
Download the Remember Practice Guide here:
Remember Practice Guide
Learn more about Dr. Trevor Hislop, Renovi Relational Therapy, marriage intensives, leadership care, and additional resources at trevorhislop.com.
The Deeper by Design Podcast is available on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, and Spotify.