Episode 61: Are You Actually Secure? Breaking Down Amir Levine's New Book | Melissa Martin
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Episode 61: Are You Actually Secure? Breaking Down Amir Levine's New Book | Melissa Martin
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Evan and Melissa launch a new book club format, digging into the first three chapters of Amir Levine's Secure, the follow-up to Attached.
In this episode:
- Taking the attachment quadrants on themselves — and why scoring "secure" doesn't always match how it feels in the moment
- Running their own friendships through Levine's CARP framework (consistency, availability, responsiveness, reliability, predictability)
- SIMIs — the small, seemingly insignificant interactions that quietly shape the nervous system
- The Cyberball exclusion study, and what it reveals about co-parenting after divorce
- A boundary Melissa's built in her own recovery: understanding someone's backstory is their work to do, not a tool for explaining away their impact on you
Chapter markers:
00:00 Introduction to attachment styles and the book 'Secure'
05:34 Building secure attachment
08:32 Friendship and everyday connection
22:13 Exclusion, divorce, and co-parenting
36:09 Accountability and recovery
Are you in NC and interested in scheduling a session with Evan or Melissa? Visit www.millercounseling.net to book your free consultation.
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Have any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run
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