Another archive episode recorded on a Friday morning in May 2023, and it’s a direct, unsexy look at the brutal necessity of personal accountability and owning our own shit. I rip straight into the core delusion and bullshit that our lives are shaped by society, our parents, our partners, or our past instead of the actual realtime choices we make every single day. I talk about the heavy baggage of my own past—getting caught driving drunk four or five times, stringing together four divorces, and serving as the undisputed king of "woe is me" while still playing the victim to childhood abuse and isolation.

Then we go straight into the dark reality of the floor: spending nearly three months living in a car—Hotel BMW, room 740 IL—with my wife, surviving off the McDonald's dollar menu, using casino bathrooms for bird baths, and sleeping under streetlights while hiding from security, even though we had jobs and money coming in. Think about that shit. Seriously. How fucked-up must my thinking have been to choose homelessness over taking the risk and getting an actual apartment? THIS is the shit we carry around us and don’t tend to take the time to truly think on with our whole selves.

The barrier wasn't the lack of money; it was the rot in the thinking: telling myself I couldn't have anything better because of bad credit and a felony record. This episode is about finding a way into the stripping away of the fear, ditching the victim songs, and facing the ultimate truth of the field: the only constant variable in every single experience of your life is you. It’s a call to sit your ass down for three or four minutes a day, stop running from your own thoughts, and start figuring out who you actually want to be before you wait for another close call to change your mind.

Fuck....