Food, clothing, and a roof over a child’s head are necessary, but parenting asks for more than simply keeping a child alive. Children also need emotional safety, guidance, discipline, protection, opportunity, and adults who are willing to examine what they may be passing down.

In this episode, we have an honest and passionate conversation about the responsibility that comes with raising children. Drawing from Nik’s experiences as a therapist and Nhi’s experience helping care for and raise the children who came after her, we reflect on how parenting choices can shape a person’s identity, relationships, emotional well-being, and understanding of the world.

We explore generational trauma, financial and emotional readiness for parenthood, the difference between discipline and punishment, and the ways religion, culture, family expectations, and personal values are passed from one generation to the next. We also discuss foster care, adoption, bodily autonomy, and the difficult ethical questions that arise when we consider what children deserve, and what society owes them.

This conversation also turns toward adult children and the expectations placed on them. Does providing the basic necessities entitle a parent to lifelong loyalty, forgiveness, access, or care? And what happens when the people responsible for protecting a child are also the ones who caused the harm?

Neither of us has children of our own, and we are not claiming to have every answer. But we both believe that bringing a child into the world carries an enormous responsibility, and that children deserve more than survival.

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation at nikandnhi.art and let us know:

Which part of parenting do you think people underestimate most?

We'd love to hear your thoughts!