The girl who looks like she's doing fine might be working the hardest in the room.

I've been in education for more than 25 years. I can name plenty of boys I taught who had ADHD. I can't think of one girl. I wasn't looking for them, and I think that's partly because I was one of them. I hid my ADHD so well that I didn't find out until I was 52.

In this episode, I write a letter to teachers and parents about the girls who get missed: the high achieving, quiet, compliant, perfectionistic ones. I talk about:

• What a formal ADHD diagnosis actually involves (it's not an online quiz)
• Why "you don't have ADHD" is something high achievers hear a lot
• What masking looks like in real life, and what it costs
• Why anxiety, perfectionism and drinking were my coping strategies, not my diagnosis
• How perimenopause stopped my masking strategies working
• Three things I'd ask of every teacher and parent

I spent 25 years not seeing these girls. I'd love for you to do better than I did.

This episode shares my personal experience and isn't medical advice. Please talk to your own doctor about diagnosis and treatment.

I'm Danielle, and this is The Shitshow: When ADHD and Perimenopause Decide to Have Their Own Party. You can also find me on Substack.

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