Licensed therapist Jeremy Mast welcomes trauma therapist and former business coach John Clarke (clinical director of Calm Again Counseling, host of Going Inside, founder of Pathways to Self) to discuss Internal Family Systems (IFS).

John explains IFS as a model where everyone has “parts” with positive intent, led by “Self” characterized by curiosity and compassion, and describes symptoms as arising when parts become polarized after trauma.

They connect IFS to betrayal trauma and addiction recovery by emphasizing each partner “keeping their side of the street clean,” unblending from reactive protector parts, and building internal attachment so partners can offer resonance rather than fixing or withdrawing.

They discuss how men often struggle with intense emotions due to shame and conditioning, the importance of validating without endorsing harmful behavior, maintaining boundaries and agency for betrayed partners, and applying client-centered care and harm-reduction principles in therapy.

00:00 Welcome to the Podcast

01:19 Meet John Clarke

02:34 Johns Work and Pathways

04:19 IFS Model Overview

09:01 Understanding Self

13:24 IFS for Betrayal Trauma

16:07 Validating Feelings and Attachment

22:07 Men Fixing and Emotional Safety

27:05 Therapist Agenda and Harm Reduction

34:59 Boundaries Choice and Validation

38:12 Connect with John

39:35 Final Wrap and Resources