『Ep 9: Diagnosis Disclosure (1 of 5) - Lovers - Recommitting to Long-term Relationships After Diagnosis』のカバーアート

Ep 9: Diagnosis Disclosure (1 of 5) - Lovers - Recommitting to Long-term Relationships After Diagnosis

Ep 9: Diagnosis Disclosure (1 of 5) - Lovers - Recommitting to Long-term Relationships After Diagnosis

無料で聴く

ポッドキャストの詳細を見る
概要
 Show NotesEpisode details* Season (Thread): 5* Episode number: 9* Release date: 2026-07-30* Hosts:* Natasha Stavros, PhD — author of The Unmasking Diary and Burning Inside Out (coming to a bookstore near you in December 2026)* Sarah Liebman — licensed marriage and family therapist, ADHD-diagnosed, special interests all things neurodiverse* Audio Engineer and Composer: Noah Smith* Director: Linda Highfield* Duration: 00:27:44* Audience and tone: Educational, conversational, supportive; stigma-free exploration of neurodivergence, diagnosis, and self-understanding using personal experience as a case study* Summary: Disclosing a late autism diagnosis to a long-term partner is not a single conversation — it's a process with three phases, and Natasha Stavros and Sarah Liebman map all three with unflinching honesty. The revelation phase begins with the recognition that a diagnosis is a starting point, not a solution, and that your partner's readiness to revise the relationship narrative is rarely where yours is. The revolution phase reframes long-standing character judgments ("you're an angry person") into neurobiological explanations that change not what's acceptable, but how the conversation happens. The renegotiation phase introduces the psychoanalytic concept of "the third" as a tool for dismantling old power dynamics and rebuilding the relationship from shared understanding. The episode closes with a diary excerpt from After the Masquerade in which Natasha and her husband, after two years of couples counseling, arrive at a radical conclusion: they need to date each other again, from scratch.Key takeaways about disclosing an adult neurodivergent diagnosis with a lover* The revelation: A late neurodivergent diagnosis doesn’t automatically explain everything to your partner — they haven’t been on the same journey you have, and their readiness to rewrite the relationship narrative may lag significantly behind yours.* The revolution: The diagnosis is an explanation, not an excuse — the goal is to shift from settled character judgments (”you’re volatile”) to neurobiological understanding (”you’re dysregulated”), which changes not what’s acceptable but how the conversation begins.* The renegotiation: Rebuilding after a late diagnosis means inviting the diagnosis in as “the third” — a new character in the relationship story — and using it to dismantle old power dynamics, build new couple agreements, and, if needed, start dating each other all over again.Resources and referencesThis article from Kennedy Krieger includes specific questions you can ask your self in any given situation about when, how much, and to whom you disclose your diagnosis.Lynn Crider (LPCC-S) wrote an article on shifting from “you are the problem” to “we have a pattern” in neurodiverse romantic relationships.The concept discussed in this episode of the analytic third is a reference to Benjamin (2004) Beyond Doer and Done-To: An Intersubjective View of Thirdness. When disclosing to a romantic partner your diagnosis, it’s important to remember that the diagnosis isn’t just yours, it has an impact on the relationship. Yew et al. (2021) conducted a systematic review of literature on autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and relationship initiation and maintenance. Their findings based on a small number of studies “provide initial indications that social and communicative factors, as well as the role of nonautistic partners, are important to the success of romantic relationships for autistic individuals.Furthermore, while not exactly the same disability as neurodivergence, there have been multiple - albeit qualitative - studies on the effect of chronic conditions (e.g., pain) on relationships. The Theoretical Model of Communal Coping (TMCC) describes communal coping with stress along the two gradients of appraisal and action; where appraisal describes the stressor as shared individually (low shared appraisal) or communally (high shared appraisal) , and actions that are handled separately (low joint action) or collectively (high joint action). Basinger et al. (2021) found that using an extension of TMCC, couples managing chronic illness followed patterns of shared appraisal and joint action based on perceived physical health and relational load and that communal coping might present challenges when there is a difference in each partner’s coping constraints.Checton et al. (2012) “results indicate that there are significant differences in (a) how patients and partners experience illness uncertainty (i.e., stigma, prognosis, and symptom) and illness interference [i.e., disruptions to lifestyles, activities, and interests], and (b) how appraisals of illness uncertainty and illness interference influence communication efficacy and health condition management.”Don’t Miss Out on Early AccessJoin our community of late-diagnosed adults learning to unmask. Subscribe to get the next episode of Following the ...
adbl_web_anon_alc_button_suppression_t1
まだレビューはありません