Can three months make — or unmake — a life together? Rabbi Klapper warns that the engagement period is a precarious, electric time: joyful and necessary, yet full of potholes. In this episode he explains why engagement is not marriage (kiddushin happens only with the ring), why too long a liminal stretch invites bad habits and illicit shortcuts, and why the right balance of preparation, boundaries, and rabbinic guidance protects both the couple and their future home. He unpacks practical needs (apartment, basics, halachic learning) alongside spiritual essentials, and reminds us of Rav Shach’s wry point about keeping the period short so the nisayon is minimized.

This is a roadmap for engaged couples: choose a sensible timeline, set real tasks (spiritual study, household basics, mentors), and make a plan to protect kedushah — emotionally, physically, and legally. Rabbi Klapper stresses one universal rule: talk to someone who knows you; personalized hadrachah prevents generic mistakes. If you’re engaged or advising one, use this episode as a checklist: shorten what can be shortened, prepare what must be prepared, and make the engagement a focused bridge — not a dangerous substitute — on the way to building a Torah home.

Hosted by Rabbi Ari Klapper and produced by Eli Podcast Productions, this episode is part of the Real Judaism series, available on RealJudaism.org. Don’t forget to subscribe and share to stay connected with our daily lessons and timeless Torah insights!