You told your spouse something has to change.

And now you’re watching.

Are they following through? Is the effort real? Will it last—or are things eventually going to slide right back to the way they were before?

Welcome to Stage 3: Testing.

In this episode, I’m talking about four of the most common mistakes I see people make during this stage of the divorce decision process—and how those mistakes can make it much harder to figure out whether your marriage is actually changing.

I’ll talk about what happens when you expect your spouse to meet a standard you never clearly communicated, why one bad night doesn’t necessarily erase months of progress, and how unrealistic expectations can make genuine change almost impossible to recognize.

We’ll also get into one of the hardest parts of Testing: figuring out whether you’re evaluating the person standing in front of you today—or still judging them entirely by who they’ve been in the past.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to tell whether you’re actually in the Testing stage
• Why you need to clearly define what you’re asking your spouse to change
• How to distinguish a normal setback from a return to an old pattern
• Why sustainable change should be evaluated over time rather than moment by moment
• How past hurt can make it difficult to recognize progress happening in the present
• Why Testing can’t be entirely about what your spouse needs to change—you have a role in the relationship dynamic, too
• How to recognize when “too little, too late” may mean you’ve already moved beyond Testing and into a later stage of the divorce decision

Testing isn’t about waiting for your spouse to become a completely different person.

It’s about getting enough clear, honest information to answer a much bigger question:

Is meaningful, lasting change actually possible here?

Should We Get A Divorce Quiz: https://kari-hoskins-coaching-llc.kit.com/9e533cdd68

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