Fall is here, football is back, and Alex is already creating workplace problems after accidentally telling a coworker he had a weekend date with Chris Hansen instead of RedZone host Scott Hanson.

From there, Alex recaps a great weekend before attempting a peaceful James Taylor commute in the increasingly unreliable Bitty Buggy—complete with rain coming through the window, a broken windshield wiper scraping the glass, and an extra 40 minutes of traffic.

Meanwhile, Jake impulsively buys an enormous jar of pickles before reigniting the year-long Walk to Mordor controversy. After his new phone mysteriously credits him with extra miles, Alex launches a full doping investigation and declares the competition’s integrity destroyed.

Jake also unveils his Italy-inspired Caesar haircut, the guys return to NFL Pick’ems, and a simple 50-cent wing happy hour turns into full-blown barroom drama when a stranger asks Jake for relationship advice in the bathroom—then immediately ignores it.

0:00 — Going Yard is back & NFL Pick’ems return
2:30 — Merch ideas and Jake starts “percolating”
3:15 — Alex accidentally tells work he has a date with Chris Hansen
4:45 — Alex’s actual date update
5:15 — AJ calls with spontaneous weekend plans
~10:00 — Weekend adventures & football season settling in
~18:00 — James Taylor enters Alex’s life
20:25 — The lovely weekend comes to an end
21:00 — The Bitty Buggy is falling apart
21:55 — James Taylor vs. the commute from hell
22:20 — The windshield wiper starts scraping the glass
23:45 — “Fire and Rain” becomes painfully appropriate
24:35 — Jake impulsively buys a pickle jar bigger than his head
26:00 — The Hannibal Buress pickle-juice method
27:40 — Alex declares the Walk to Mordor competition fraudulent
28:40 — Explaining the 1,700-mile challenge
29:40 — The accusations against Kyle begin
30:55 — Jake’s new phone wipes his Mordor progress
31:45 — Jake discovers the missing miles
32:20 — Mysterious bonus mileage appears
32:55 — “There could have been a double dip”
34:40 — Alex loses faith in the entire competition
35:00 — The doping analogy
35:25 — “Cheaters deserve prison”
36:25 — Broken windshield wipers become a metaphor for Alex’s life
36:50 — Jake vs. Kyle: two rams locked in the grasslands
39:05 — A fantasy matchup decided by less than a point
~40:00 — Jake unveils the new haircut
43:30 — The Italy-inspired Caesar cut
44:00 — Caesar cut vs. Friar Jake vs. Simple Jack
45:45 — Phillies playoff check-in
46:45 — The 50-cent wing happy hour begins
47:45 — Playing cards with wing-covered hands
48:00 — Learning “Fuck the Dealer”
50:15 — Jake admits he has absolutely no poker face
51:15 — A stranger approaches Jake in the bathroom
51:50 — “My ex is here with her new boyfriend…”
52:15 — Jake gives the stranger very clear advice
53:15 — Jake returns to the table looking like he saw a ghost
53:45 — The stranger ignores Jake’s advice
~54:30 — The exes finally start talking
56:15 — Someone starts crying
56:40 — “I was never the same after you”
57:15 — The entire bar is now watching
58:15 — Jake desperately shuffles cards through the drama
59:05 — The check finally arrives
59:45 — “LEAVE HER! YOU DON’T DESERVE THAT!”
1:00:15 — Planning the follow-up investigation
1:00:45 — Going Yard may be heading to Italy
~1:03:00 — NFL Pick’ems results
1:04:40 — Alex correctly guesses his score
1:05:25 — Week 2 NFL recap begins
~1:15+ — Around the NFL, picks & football reactions

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