"For years I told everyone I was type B. Messy books, notes on my iPad, no real systems. What I didn't realize is that my perfectionist wasn't missing. She was hiding as avoidance."

We think perfectionism looks like color-coded spreadsheets and everything in its place. But there's another face of it almost no one names: avoidance. Not looking at the details. Scrapping the whole thing instead of reviewing it and making small changes. Not launching, not reviewing, not asking for the money — because if you look too closely, you might feel the shame of it not being perfect. So a part of you says: don't look. Just avoid it.

In this episode I get honest about how that protector ran my business for years — the captions I never reread, the systems I wouldn't build, the rage I'd feel when someone asked about my budget. And I tell the full story of the Greece retreat: a beautiful program I delivered on, undone by the details I refused to look at — the villa I never visited in person, the boat, the books I avoided — and what it ultimately cost me. I share it because I want you to know you can get it wrong, recover, and keep building.

In this episode:
• The perfectionist who hides as avoidance — why "don't look at it" feels safer than facing the mess
• Why this shows up hardest around money, selling, and receiving
• Why you can't discipline or push through this part — and what actually works
• The Greece retreat: how avoiding the details cost me a business, and what it taught me
• Holding shame close instead of hiding from it — the tender self underneath the protector
• Done in a way that aligns with your integrity beats perfect every time

The full life-story version — how this shaped the way I built Root & Rise — is over on my Substack, The Regulated CEO. This show is the nervous-system half, because for an owner those were never two different things.

🌱 Root & Rise Collective — my group practice
📖 The Regulated CEO on Substack
📍 Which part is running your show? Take the quiz — link in bio