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If you've lost a child to suicide, you may know the silence that follows, when the people around you don't know what to say or do. In this conversation, Jackie Baker and I talk about the loss of her son Sebastian, and about what it means to grieve honestly and messily while holding on to faith.

Jackie is a nurse practitioner, a bereaved mom, and the author of Messy Mourning, a faith-forward companion for mothers grieving the loss of a child to suicide. She shares Sebastian's story: a brilliant, competitive, well-read young man who, like every child lost to suicide, is so much more than a statistic. Together we talk about the guilt and the "what ifs," the stigma that still follows suicide loss, and how faith can hold you when everything feels dark. I'm honoured that Jackie trusted me with her story. Her hope and honesty may help anyone who has lost a child to suicide feel a little less alone.

Key points we discuss:

•💛 Why suicide loss can feel so isolating. Jackie and I talk about the silence that often follows, when the people around you don't know what to say, and how "acceptable" explanations for a death can make honest grief harder.
•💛 Loving an adult child through their struggles. Jackie shares how she supported Sebastian while holding healthy boundaries, and how hard it is to do both at once.
•💛 Guilt, anger, and the "what ifs." We both share the last conversations we had with our children, and how we've come to accept that we cannot control another person's choices.
•💛 More than a statistic. Sebastian was brilliant, curious, competitive, and deeply loved. Jackie reminds us that every child lost to suicide is far more than the way they died.
•💛 Where the stigma comes from. Drawing on her Master's in Biblical Studies, Jackie explains how suicide has been viewed in the church over the centuries and why that thinking is slowly changing.
•💛 How faith and community carried her. Jackie describes how scripture, prayer, and a church family held her up, and how her belief that Sebastian is healed and whole gives her comfort.
•💛 Why healing is not betrayal. You never forget your child, and you can live and laugh again without guilt.
•💛 Patience with the process. Complicated grief after suicide is often not linear and can take five to seven years or more. Please don't stop showing up for someone after the first year.
•💛 Where to find support. Jackie points to grief groups like GriefShare and to the resources on her website and encourages us to build a village rather than grieve alone.

About Jackie:
Jackie M. Baker holds a Doctor of Nursing Practice from the University of Washington and a Master of Arts in Biblical Studies. She is the author of Messy Mourning and co-founded a free healthcare clinic for the underserved. She leads a grief group and offers suicide grief resources on her website.

Links and resources:

🌐 Jackie's website and suicide grief resource list: jackiembaker.com
🤝 GriefShare, 13-week grief support groups: griefshare.org

The Grief Talk Podcast links:
▶️ Watch the episode on YouTube
📸 Follow us on Instagram: @grief_talk
🌐 For books and resources on grief, identity, and finding your way back to yourself by Vonne: vonnesolis.com

If you're in crisis: In the U.S. or Canada, call or text 988. Elsewhere, please contact your local crisis line or emergency services.

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