Episode 68 | Working While Broken: What It's Really Like

What happens when you have to go back to work while your entire world has fallen apart?

In this episode of The Grief Guardian Podcast, I talk about what it was really like returning to work after losing my daughter, Mia.

I took around a month away before returning to my work as a martial arts instructor. On the outside, I had to be the instructor my students expected. I had to teach, motivate, focus and put their needs first.

Inside, I was falling apart.

We talk about the pressure to function when you're grieving, the mask we can wear at work, and the difference between functioning and actually healing.

I also share how returning to my own martial arts training before returning to teaching gave me somewhere I didn't have to hide my emotions. If I broke down, I broke down. It was a space where it could simply be about me.

We also look at what employers can do to support someone who is grieving. Grief doesn't follow a timetable. A person can be completely fine one moment and then be hit by a wave of grief the next. Sometimes they simply need permission to step away.

I'm incredibly grateful that I wasn't pressured to return to work and that I had people around me who continued checking in long after I returned.

Nearly four years later, my boss still reminds me to be easier on myself.

And perhaps the biggest lesson I've learned is this:

Everything that happened was out of your control, so you don't need to carry the guilt.

That's much easier to say than it is to believe.

If you're trying to work while grieving, please remember that you don't have to pretend you're okay. Be kind to yourself. Connect with people. Let others walk beside you.

The grief may not disappear, but the waves do change. The space between them gets bigger, and eventually those moments become easier to carry.

If this episode helps you, please consider subscribing to The Grief Guardian and sharing it with someone who may need to hear it.

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