『Emotional Fitness Of Leaders (Part Two)』のカバーアート

Emotional Fitness Of Leaders (Part Two)

Emotional Fitness Of Leaders (Part Two)

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In Part One, we looked at Dr Emily Anhalt's research with 100 leaders and 100 psychologists. She identified seven factors that help measure how emotionally "fit" we are. We covered the first three: learning our emotional triggers and biases, understanding the emotions of others and finding comfort in discomfort. Now we come to the remaining four. These move us from understanding ourselves toward something even more challenging: building meaningful connections, recovering from setbacks, asking others for help and actually implementing what we learn. That last point may be the toughest of them all. Why do leaders need a psychologically safe space outside work? Leaders need relationships and environments where they can relax, lower their guard and simply be themselves.Constantly operating as "the boss" without somewhere psychologically safe to decompress can leave leaders increasingly isolated. "Psychological safety" has become a familiar term in business, but leaders need it too. Ideally, that safe space may come from family and close friends. Here is the rub: leaders are often so busy working that they don't invest enough time in developing those relationships. I put my hand up for this one. I am in permanent imbalance trying to get the balance right. Work projects continually compete with family, friendships, hobbies and interests. For those of us working in Japan, there can be an additional complication because we may be thousands of kilometres away from the friends and colleagues we grew up with. Isolation isn't a good long-term leadership strategy. Do now: Deliberately invest time in family, friendships, hobbies and interests where you can stop being "the boss" and simply be yourself. How can leaders bounce forward after failure and setbacks? Emotionally fit leaders don't erase failure; they acknowledge what happened, extract what they can learn and refuse to let the past control their future. The objective isn't merely to bounce back but to bounce forward. Being positive sounds easy. We tell ourselves that failures aren't really failures. They are opportunities to grow and learn. Except we often don't behave that way. Instead, we beat ourselves up and keep replaying the video of the disaster in our minds. We remember what we said, what we should have done and how badly things turned out. That mental replay starts interfering with the work sitting in front of us. Our confidence shrinks. We take fewer risks. Our world of possibilities becomes smaller. The memory may remain, but we don't have to continually feed it with worry. That was then. This is now. Do now: When an old failure returns to your mind, acknowledge it, capture the lesson and consciously return your attention to what you can influence today. How can leaders stop worrying about mistakes from the past? Being unhappy about something that happened is different from repeatedly worrying about it. We may not control when an unpleasant memory appears, but we can work on whether we allow it to dominate our thinking. This distinction is important. We cannot magically remove painful memories. They have an irritating habit of popping up whether invited or not. The question is what happens next. Instead of climbing aboard the mental train and travelling all the way back into the disaster, note what happened and move on. "Yes, that happened." "Yes, I wish I had handled it differently." "Yes, I learned something." And then stop. The circumstances have changed. You have changed. The world has moved on. Leadership requires enough emotional capacity to deal with today's problems without continually dragging yesterday's problems along behind us. Do now: Note the memory without feeding the worry. Extract the lesson, recognise that circumstances have changed and return your attention to the present. Why should leaders express their needs and ask for support? Modern leadership is too complex for the old heroic model in which the boss is expected to know everything, need nothing and solve every problem alone. Emotionally fit leaders recognise when they need support and are willing to ask for it. I grew up in macho Australia. The strong, silent type was the model. If you had needs, you sorted them out yourself. Feelings were kept safely out of sight. Asking for help? Forget it. The assumption was that rivals would despise you, bosses wouldn't trust you and your team wouldn't follow you if they detected vulnerability. Business today is different. Technology, speed and complexity have made the heroic boss a relic from another era. There is simply too much going on for one person to possess all the answers. I tell my son not to be like Dad. Ask people for support and help. Don't imagine you have to do everything yourself like I did. Do now: Identify one area where you are unnecessarily carrying the load alone and ask someone you trust for help, advice or support. Should leaders show vulnerability and share their feelings? Leaders can acknowledge that they...
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