No aspiring orphan should be without a copy of Gertrude Chandler Warner's 1924 classic, The Boxcar Children. Her bafflingly successful mystery adventures were a huge part of ABK's childhood. But what will Eleanor make of these candy-sweet tramps and their highly-idealised life on the run?

Content Warning: Like edgy comedian Ricky Gervais, we do not censor this whimsical kid-lit podcast. Please don't play it to your children unless you're a cool parent who lets them swear and stuff.

They're soft, they're white, they're somewhere between cute and creepy — it's Eleanor and Alasdair. And for this episode, we read Tove Jansson's 1946 adventure Comet In Moominland (Kometjakten) translated by Elizabeth Portch.

We ask, what does it feel like to touch a Moomintroll? How do you pronounce Tove? And is there any better response to environmental catastrophe than baking a cake?

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Here are Eleanor and Alasdair, coming down the stairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head. That's right, Eleanor has murdered Alasdair. But not before recording this month's episode all about A. A. Milne's 1926 classic Winnie the Pooh.

Will Eleanor be able to contain her disdain for the 1966 Disney movie? Will Alasdair's Alan Bennett impression comes out more like Les Dennis doing Mavis from Coronation Street? And are ANY Winnie the Pooh quotes genuine?

In the words of A. A. Milne, "I pity the fool who gets on a plane."