Eleanor and Alasdair enjoy a proper Scottish Halloween. That means turnip carving, guising and a copy of 1993's The Haunted Mask. It's number eleven in the best-selling Goosebumps series, but is it really scary? What's its connection to Che Guevara? And does R. L. Stine actually know how masks work?

Listener beware... you're in for some Canadian accents.

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Charles Kingsley's The Water-Babies, made a big splash in 1863. It may have helped end child labour in Britain, but is it actually readable? In this episode, Eleanor and Alasdair encounter a children's classic that's allegorical, didactic, flippant, Christian, scientific and obsessively anti-Irish.

Will Alasdair be able to contain his exasperation? Did Eleanor cheat and read the abridged version? And Charles, mate, what did the Irish ever do to you?

No aspiring orphan should be without a copy of Gertrude Chandler Warner's 1924 classic, The Boxcar Children. Her bafflingly successful mystery adventures were a huge part of ABK's childhood. But what will Eleanor make of these candy-sweet tramps and their highly-idealised life on the run?

Content Warning: Like edgy comedian Ricky Gervais, we do not censor this whimsical kid-lit podcast. Please don't play it to your children unless you're a cool parent who lets them swear and stuff.