This week on Dudes Without Dads, Joshua welcomes James Ludeman — a 36-year-old husband and father of two from St. Petersburg, Florida, now living outside Nashville, Tennessee. James has never met his biological father. He was raised by his grandmother, grew up surrounded by addiction and abandonment, and later found faith in Christ on a missions trip at 15.

James opens up about the "why don't they love me?" question that shaped his childhood, the approval addiction and pornography struggle that followed, and the rock-bottom moment at 21 that turned his life around. He shares how God met him in Jackson, Mississippi — and how, years later, a little girl asking "Will you be my dad?" changed everything. Today, James is a husband of nearly 10 years and the adoptive father of two.

Joshua and James talk honestly about fatherlessness, faith, forgiveness, and what it takes for a man to break the cycle he was handed and become the father he never had.

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"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." — Proverbs 27:17

fatherhood, father wound, sonship, men's ministry, christian men, healing, identity, intentional fatherhood, dudes without dads, joshua brown, eric manly, the intentional dad, generational curses, masculinity, christian podcast, faith and fatherhood, becoming a better dad, father absence

August 2019. A warm Saturday night at a Spokane neighborhood fair. Ron Hauenstein is manning a booth alone when three 15-year-olds walk up. Before Ron can say a word, the girl asks him three questions in a row:

"Is this where I come to get a dad?"
"What do I have to do to get a dad?"
"Will you be my dad?"

Her father, she said, was "a druggie with seven kids who doesn't mean anything to him."

That's the reality Ron has been staring down for a decade. This week on Dudes Without Dads, Joshua sits with Ron Hauenstein — founder and Executive Director of the Spokane Fatherhood Initiative (SpoFI) — for one of the most sobering and hopeful conversations we've had on the show.

In 1960, only 5 out of every 100 American babies were born outside marriage. Today it's over 50%. Among first-time moms 25 and younger, it's roughly 80%. Ron didn't just watch it happen — he set out to do something about it. Since 2018, SpoFI has issued 700+ certificates of completion through their 24/7 Dad classes: 24 hours of instruction over 6 weeks, evidence-based, with the first four lessons pointed inward before a single "tool" is handed out.

What Joshua and Ron unpack in this episode:
🕰️ How three shifts — no-fault divorce, the pill, and the workforce reshuffle — dismantled the covenant of home
🏠 Why kids today don't have a "home" anymore — just "my dad's apartment" and "my mom's house"
💔 The orphan spirit — what it is, how it forms, and 6 ways to know you're carrying it
😤 Why anger is really about security and shame is really about significance
📚 The 24/7 Dad curriculum — how men come in defeated and leave changed (without being told what to change)
🙏 James's story — separated from his four kids for 7 years, reunited after God got a hold of him
👨‍👧 The four-year-old who told her dad: "You don't get mad at us anymore. You don't yell at us like you used to."
✝️ Ron's personal turning point in Bible Study Fellowship — the identity shift from "a sinner saved by grace" to "a saint saved by grace who sins"
🇺🇸 A history moment you didn't know: Spokane is the birthplace of Father's Day (1910, Sonora Smart-Dodd)
⛓️ The stat every listener needs to hear: a child raised without a father is 20 times more likely to end up in prison

Ron's closing word for every man listening: "There's a hole in you — and a hole in your children's hearts — that can only be filled by a father, or your Heavenly Father."

Connect with Dudes Without Dads:
🌐 dudeswithoutdadspodcast.com
📅 New episodes every Thursday
🙋‍♂️ Apply to be a guest at dudeswithoutdadspodcast.com

Learn more about Ron & take the class:
🔗 spofi.org — 24/7 Dad classes are on Zoom, six times a year, $20 refundable deposit
🔗 fatherhood.org — buy the 24/7 Dad curriculum and start it in your own town
🔗 fathers.com — Ken Canfield's Seven Secrets of Effective Fathers (free online course)

If this episode marks you, do three things: leave a rating and review, share it with one brother who needs to hear it, and subscribe so you don't miss what's next.

"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." — Proverbs 27:17

fatherhood, father wound, sonship, men's ministry, christian men, healing, identity, intentional fatherhood, dudes without dads, joshua brown, eric manly, the intentional dad, generational curses, masculinity, christian podcast, faith and fatherhood, becoming a better dad, father absence

What does it take to become the dad you never had — when the dad you did have was present but never really there?

Scott Maudsley grew up as the second of four boys in southwest Michigan. His dad was a man of faith. He was in the house. He loved his kids. But when the business failed, bankruptcy hit, and the family moved into a tent on a campground just trying to survive — the emotional distance between Scott and his father only grew. By the time Scott was 18, he had lived in 14 different homes. He attended three high schools in four years — including a move from a small white farming community in Michigan to Hialeah, Miami in the middle of his senior year.

His mom left. His dad stayed. And Scott spent the next several decades learning — the hard way — what it means to be a present father to his own kids.

Today Scott is a kingdom worker, author, and founder of two movements built around one conviction: every man needs a spiritual father, and every man needs to become one.

In this conversation, Joshua Brown and Scott get into:

• What it felt like to grow up with a dad who was physically present but emotionally distant — and how that shaped Scott's identity as a man
• The bankruptcy, the tent, the 14 homes, and what financial chaos does to a family's emotional foundation
• The day his mom left — and what it was like to have a single dad for a year and a half
• The pivotal man God put in Scott's life in his thirties who forced him to go back and process all the trauma he had buried
• The single most important piece of fatherhood wisdom Scott ever received — and how it transformed the way he parented his own kids from birth to age 13
• Why age 13 is the last real window a dad has for full influence over his child — and what happens when you miss it
• How Scott wrote A Dad's Bible Journey — a study of the actual fathers in scripture, not just principles, but real stories of real dads who failed and were redeemed
• The story behind Dads on Tap — a nonprofit that partners with breweries to reach dads who would never walk into a church
• What spiritual fathering actually looks like — and why every man needs one

"There's no paycheck, no influence, no stage that I would trade for that intentionality from zero to 13."

"Forgiveness is more for you than them. I had inner peace for the first time in my life. It's just Jesus — just Jesus."

This episode is for the man who had a dad in the house but still grew up without one. For the dad who wants to do it differently but doesn't know how. And for every man who needs a spiritual father to show him the way.

🔗 Resources Mentioned:

• Spiritual Fathers (Man in the Mirror) → https://www.spiritualfathers.com
• Dads on Tap → https://www.dadsoontap.com
• A Dad's Bible Journey → Available on Amazon
• Scott Maudsley on Instagram → @ScottMaudsley
• Email Scott → scott@dadsontap.com

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📲 Join the Movement → https://www.dudeswithoutdads.com
🎙️ Apply to Be a Guest → https://www.DudesWithoutDadsPodcast.com

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fatherhood, father wound, sonship, men's ministry, christian men, healing, identity, intentional fatherhood, dudes without dads, joshua brown, eric manly, the intentional dad, generational curses, masculinity, christian podcast, faith and fatherhood, becoming a better dad, father absence