『Dr. Susan McIlvaine returns to talk having a baby as a new attending, infertility, and more』のカバーアート

Dr. Susan McIlvaine returns to talk having a baby as a new attending, infertility, and more

Dr. Susan McIlvaine returns to talk having a baby as a new attending, infertility, and more

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Key topicsIn this episode, Susan explains that getting pregnant with Nicholas took about a year, similar to her experience conceiving Maddie, but for different reasons.She shares that after Maddie’s birth she had prolonged bleeding, which led to a DNC after a retained piece of placenta was found.Susan describes how that earlier procedure likely contributed to Asherman syndrome, with significant scar tissue in the uterus discovered during fertility workup.We discuss the repeated procedures she needed to clear scar tissue, including use of a Foley balloon to keep the uterus open while it healed.Susan talks about the emotional stress of fertility treatment while starting her first attending job and trying to manage clinic schedules, OR time, and appointments.She reflects on how hard it was to feel like a responsible new attending while also dealing with fertility care and early pregnancy visits.Susan compares postpartum anxiety with her first baby to the second time around, saying she was less overwhelmed, less intrusive-thought driven, and more able to recognize hard phases as temporary.She talks how the second baby changed the logistics of parenting, especially with a toddler already at home and less free time to ruminate.We discuss the difference between emotional and logistical difficulty when returning to work, including the intense feelings around daycare dropoff the first time.Susan explains how her family planned childcare coverage around the reality of daycare sickness by splitting parental leave and saving time for sick days.She talks through the weekly division of labor at home, including dropoffs, pickups, bottle prep, meals, and the constant negotiation between flexibility and structure.Susan shares that outsourcing more tasks, like laundry, feels like the next step, even though she still struggles with guilt about paying for help.Susan discusses how hard it can be to accept help with tasks you are technically capable of doing yourself.Susan says one of the biggest mindset shifts has been redefining what a successful day looks like, especially when parenting young children and working long hours.She names watching her two children interact as one of the most meaningful parts of parenting now.Susan also reflects on the strange, awe-inspiring biology of motherhood, including thinking about the eggs that existed in her body long before her children were born.Timestamps00:00 - Reconnecting with Susan and introducing the second-baby conversation00:41 - Nicholas turns one and the family keeps his birthday low-key01:30 - Getting pregnant with Nicholas took another long road03:47 - The postpartum bleeding after Maddie and the retained placenta04:44 - Fertility testing leads to an unexpected diagnosis05:18 - Discovering scar tissue and Asherman syndrome06:14 - Multiple procedures with Foley balloons to reopen the uterus07:16 - What it felt like to hear grim fertility statistics at nearly 4008:32 - Managing pregnancy while starting a new attending job09:47 - Balancing fertility appointments with clinic days and OR scheduling10:47 - Why pregnancy felt hard to fully believe until much later12:36 - Nicholas arrives and the second postpartum experience begins13:02 - Less anxiety, fewer intrusive thoughts, and more emotional ease14:28 - Why the second baby phase felt more peaceful overall15:19 - Postpartum anxiety, vigilance, and intrusive thoughts16:39 - Breastfeeding with less pressure the second time around18:21 - The emotional pain of first daycare dropoff19:41 - Why returning to work was harder logistically than emotionally20:58 - Leaving a child at daycare versus leaving with familiar help23:57 - Leave policy discussion gets cut from the conversation24:57 - Why childcare planning starts with backup support25:56 - Splitting parental leave and saving time for sick days27:22 - Weekly dropoff and pickup coordination between parents28:16 - The daily battle over meals, bottles, and night versus morning tasks31:17 - Why outsourcing laundry feels like a realistic next step32:31 - Hiring help for meal prep and folding laundry, and still feeling weird about it35:29 - Relearning that not every productive task is the right task36:27 - Redefining a successful day beyond housework and to-do lists37:32 - Cleaning as a way to regain control in a chaotic season38:29 - Favorite and least favorite parts of parenting39:19 - Watching siblings interact and the wonder of family biology40:40 - The “baby store” joke and closing thoughtsSupport the show
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