Summary:

Dr. Natalie shares her personal journey through moving, shredding decades of paperwork, and navigating midlife challenges, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, rest, and intentional living during perimenopause. She aims in this episode to quelch the shame we feel when looking back across our lives and realizing how overfunctioning has come at a high cost.

Keywords:

midlife, perimenopause, self-care, moving, trauma, overfunctioning, regulated nervous system, self-awareness, mental health, personal growth

Key topics:

• Midlife transition and self-awareness
• The significance of rest and self-care during perimenopause
• Personal stories of moving and decluttering as a metaphor for life changes
• Trauma responses and overfunctioning in women
• The importance of creating a sanctuary and setting boundaries

Takeaways:

• Rest is a form of self-love and essential for health during midlife.
• Decluttering can be a powerful act of self-discovery and healing.
• Overfunctioning is often a trauma response that comes at a high personal cost.
• Self-awareness allows for conscious choices that align with one’s well-being.
• Midlife is an opportunity for renewal and creating a life that feels right.

Resources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie:Learn to Love Your Story Coaching- ⁠⁠⁠https://learntoloveyourstory.com⁠⁠⁠Dr. Natalie’s Counseling Practice - ⁠⁠⁠https://nataliemarcounseling.com⁠⁠⁠ If you are in MN, book your free 15-minute consultation with Dr. Natalie. Facebook:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Linked In:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@doc.natalie⁠

Sound bites

• "Looking at it in black and white was profound."
• "Midlife is a miracle, not a crisis."
• "Choose yourself every day."

Chapters

00:00 Navigating Life Transitions

08:32 The Weight of Paperwork and Memories

17:13 The Cost of Overfunctioning

23:19 Choosing Yourself in Midlife

28:35 Creating a Centered Midlife

34:34 Embracing Change and Choice

DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠or CALL 988Crisis Text Line:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠or Text HOME to 741741

Summary

This episode explores the challenges faced by the sandwich generation—adults caring for aging parents while managing their own families and careers. Dr. Natalie shares insights on emotional, physical, and financial strains, and offers practical strategies for setting boundaries, seeking support, and prioritizing self-care to navigate this demanding phase of life.

Keywords

sandwich generation, midlife, caregiving, self-care, boundaries, emotional health, physical strain, financial stress, family dynamics, personal growth

Key Topics

• Statistics on adult caregivers and gender differences
• Emotional and physical toll of caregiving
• Financial challenges faced by caregivers
• The shift from transactional to relational caregiving
• Strategies for setting boundaries and seeking support

Takeaways

• Prioritize self-care to sustain caregiving capacity
• Set clear boundaries to protect emotional and physical health
• Seek support and resources to avoid burnout
• Reframe caregiving as an act of self-love and modeling for future generations
• Recognize that saying no is a valid and necessary choice

Sound bites:

• "You're not alone in this."
• "64% report moderate to high emotional strain."
• "Saying no is a valid and necessary choice."

Chapters

• 00:00 Understanding the Sandwich Generation
• 06:22 Financial Strain and Overwork
• 11:19 Setting Boundaries and Self-Care
• 16:39 Modeling Healthy Behaviors for Future Generations

Resources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie:Learn to Love Your Story Coaching- ⁠⁠https://learntoloveyourstory.com⁠⁠Dr. Natalie’s Counseling Practice - ⁠⁠https://nataliemarcounseling.com⁠⁠ If you are in MN, book your free 15-minute consultation with Dr. Natalie. Facebook:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Linked In:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr/⁠⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@doc.natalieDISCLAIMER:

The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠or CALL 988

Crisis Text Line:⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠or Text HOME to 741741

Summary:

This episode explores the impact of perfectionism, societal conditioning, and hormonal changes during midlife on women's mental health. Dr. Natalie shares data, personal insights, and practical advice to help women love themselves and navigate this transformative phase with resilience.

Keywords:

midlife, women, perfectionism, mental health, hormonal changes, self-love, resilience, menopause, societal conditioning

Key topics:

• ​Perfectionism and its impact on mental health
• ​The connection between hormonal changes and emotional well-being
• ​Societal conditioning and self-betrayal in women
• ​Practical steps to cultivate self-love and resilience

Sound bites:

"Relearn who you are and what you want."

"Deserving love even when you screw up."

"You do not have to be good."

Chapters:

00:00 The Burden of Perfectionism in Midlife

03:24 Understanding the Mental Health Crisis for Women

11:29 The Impact of Hormonal Changes and Medical Misunderstandings

28:13 Reclaiming Self-Worth and Breaking Free from Perfectionism

36:18 Introduction and Disclaimer

37:55 Crisis Resources and Support

Resources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie:

Learn to Love Your Story Coaching- ⁠https://learntoloveyourstory.com⁠

Dr. Natalie’s Counseling Practice - ⁠https://nataliemarcounseling.com⁠ If you are in MN, book your free 15-minute consultation with Dr. Natalie.

Facebook:⁠ ⁠⁠facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠ instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr⁠⁠⁠⁠Linked In:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147⁠⁠⁠⁠Tik Tok:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠tiktok.com/@doc.natalie⁠⁠⁠⁠

Resources:

Mary Oliver's Wild Geese Poem - https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45587/wild-geese

Women's Health Initiative Study - https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/women-s-health-initiative

Understanding Perfectionism in Women - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-moment-youth/201911/the-perfectionism-epidemic

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) Information - https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/menopause/in-depth/hormone-therapy/art-20046372

Disclaimer:

The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with Learn To Love Your Story coaching ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠ and her private practice ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities are educational ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic or coaching services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠CALL 988

Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

Episode Summary:

Dr. Natalie explores the psychological and physical factors contributing to the rising divorce rates among women in midlife, emphasizing patterns of behavior, stress, and self-awareness. She offers insights into how women can recognize and shift these patterns to improve their relationships and well-being.

Keywords:

midlife, divorce, women, psychology, self-awareness, patterns, stress, relationships, mental health, self-care

Key topics:

• Statistics on midlife divorce rates
• Psychological patterns in women’s relationships
• Impact of hormones and stress on midlife women

Sound bites:

"The average age of divorce is 45."

"Women initiate 66% of divorces."

"People pleasing patterns are deeply ingrained."

Chapters:

00:00 Understanding Divorce Statistics and Trends

03:23 Psychological Patterns in Midlife Women

16:07 Breaking the Cycle of People-Pleasing

27:47 Empowering Women to Embrace Change

Resources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie:

• Learn to Love Your Story Course - https://learntoloveyourstory.com

• Dr. Natalie’s Counseling Practice - https://nataliemarcounseling.com If you are in MN, book your free 15-minute consultation with Dr. Natalie.
• Facebook: ⁠⁠facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory
• ⁠⁠⁠Instagram:⁠⁠⁠ instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr
• ⁠⁠⁠Linked In: ⁠⁠⁠linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147⁠⁠⁠
• Tik Tok:⁠ ⁠⁠tiktok.com/@doc.natalie⁠⁠⁠

DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠CALL 988Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

Summary:

Have you ever found yourself uncontrollably crying? Angry beyond what the situation warrants? Or maybe after years of being an extrovert, you now just want to curl up on the coach and hide from people. Perimenopause is no joke.

Dr. Natalie shares her own personal experience of emotional breakdowns during midlife, explores the science behind trauma and hormonal changes, and offers insights into managing these challenges through therapy and self-awareness.

Keywords: midlife, trauma, hormones, therapy, emotional health, menopause, childhood experience, stress resilience, self-compassion, mental health

Key topics:

• Trauma and midlife emotional health
• The impact of childhood experiences on menopause
• Science of hormones and stress resilience
• Therapeutic approaches for trauma in midlife
• Self-compassion and curiosity in emotional regulation

• Trauma from childhood can resurface in midlife, affecting emotional health.
• Hormonal changes in menopause can exacerbate past trauma effects.
• Therapy and self-awareness are crucial for managing midlife emotional challenges.
• Understanding your ACE score can help predict health risks in midlife.
• Practicing curiosity instead of self-criticism fosters self-compassion.

• Uncovering the Science of Trauma and Hormones in Midlife
• How Childhood Trauma Affects Women in Menopause

Sound bites:

"Some relationships just have a season for themselves."

"I burst into positively never happens."

"If it's hysterical, it's historical."

Chapters:

00:00 Navigating Friendships in Midlife

05:59 Emotional Breakthroughs and Self-Compassion

12:26 Childhood Trauma and Its Impact on Relationships

19:59 The Science of Midlife and Childhood Trauma

30:16 Advocating for Your Health in Midlife

Resources:

• Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Questionnaire⁠
• ⁠The Swan Study on Women's Health⁠
• ⁠Self-Compassion Course by Dr. Natalie⁠

Resources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie:Website:⁠ ⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory⁠⁠Instagram:⁠⁠ instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr⁠⁠Linked In: ⁠⁠linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147⁠⁠Tik Tok: ⁠⁠tiktok.com/@doc.natalie⁠⁠DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠CALL 988Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

Summary

Dr. Natalie explores the intersection of midlife challenges, hormonal changes, and childhood trauma, emphasizing that women's struggles are often systemic and not personal failures. She discusses how hormonal shifts affect stress resilience and the importance of inner work and therapy to achieve a centered midlife.

Keywords

midlife, hormonal changes, childhood trauma, stress resilience, inner child work, therapy, estrogen, progesterone, systemic issues, personal growth

Key topics

• Hormonal changes in midlife and their impact on stress resilience

• The role of childhood trauma in adult midlife struggles

• Inner child work and shadow work as tools for healing

• Systemic societal expectations and their effects on women in midlife

Key frameworks

• Inner Child Work

• Shadow Work

• Core Belief Systems

Action items

• Seek therapy to unpack childhood trauma

• Consider hormone therapy with medical guidance

• Set boundaries to protect your mental health

• Prioritize love and acceptance of your current life

Sound bites

"Childhood trauma can resurface in midlife."

"Love your life right now, all of it."

"This was never your fault."

Chapters

00:00 The Burden of Expectations on Women

13:18 Childhood Trauma and Its Resurgence in Midlife

19:07 Introduction and Disclaimer

20:43 Crisis Resources and Support

Midlife/Trauma Resources:

• Therapy for Trauma and Inner Child Work - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

• Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) - https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/hormone-replacement-therapy

• Understanding Perimenopause and Menopause - https://www.womenshealth.gov/menopause

Resources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie:Website: ⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory⁠⁠Instagram:⁠⁠ instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr⁠⁠Linked In: ⁠⁠linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147⁠⁠Tik Tok: ⁠⁠tiktok.com/@doc.natalie⁠⁠DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CALL 988Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741

Summary

In this conversation, Dr. Natalie reflects on her journey through midlife, particularly focusing on the challenges of perimenopause and the emotional turmoil that often accompanies it. She discusses the importance of letting go of societal expectations and the pressure to conform, emphasizing the need for self-acceptance and compassion. Dr. Natalie also explores the concept of procedural memory and how our ingrained habits can shape our perceptions and emotional responses. Ultimately, she encourages listeners to redefine their narratives and embrace a centered midlife, free from the burdens of self-judgment and societal standards.

Episode 117: Expert Advice on Addressing the #1 Symptom in Perimenopause: https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/y7WjcCkjf1b or https://youtu.be/GFTFQGbN1rg

Keywords:

midlife, perimenopause, self-acceptance, emotional health, procedural memory, self-compassion, personal growth, women empowerment, mental health, life transitions

Takeaways

• Turning 50 can be a liberating experience.
• It's important to decide what truly matters to us.
• Perimenopause can bring significant emotional challenges.
• Irritability is a common symptom of hormonal changes.
• 95% of our thoughts and behaviors are pre-programmed.
• We can reprogram our thoughts to be more compassionate.
• Self-acceptance is crucial for mental well-being.
• We often hold ourselves to unrealistic standards.
• It's essential to shift our narratives about ourselves.
• You are not broken; you are a work in progress.

Sound bites

"I was waking up that way."

"Tell yourself a new story."

"You are not broken."

Chapters

00:00 Embracing Midlife: A New Perspective

06:35 Reprogramming the Mind: Breaking Free from Old Habits

12:20 Redefining Self-Worth: A Journey to Centered Midlife
Resources & Links to Connect with Dr. Natalie:Website: ⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory⁠⁠Instagram:⁠⁠ instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr⁠⁠Linked In: ⁠⁠linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147⁠⁠Tik Tok: ⁠⁠tiktok.com/@doc.natalie⁠⁠DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with ⁠⁠(⁠⁠⁠https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠)⁠, ⁠(⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠),⁠ and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org⁠/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ CALL 988Crisis Text Line: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.crisistextline.org/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Text HOME to 741741