Dr Lynne Jacobs on Shame, Trust & the Relational Patterns That Shape Us
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Why do we keep repeating relational patterns even when we know they no longer serve us? And how do we learn to trust ourselves, other people, and our place in the world?
In this conversation, I speak with Dr Lynne Jacobs, psychologist, psychotherapist and internationally respected voice in relational Gestalt therapy, about how our sense of self is formed through relationship. We explore her concept of Enduring Relational Themes, how it differs from attachment theory, and why behaviours we label as “avoidant” may make more sense when understood as forms of self-protection.
We also explore shame and belonging: why shame can make us feel as though we have broken the code of being human, the fear of visibility and “Who do you think you are?”, and how compassion and relationship can bring us back into the human community.
Our conversation moves into money, desire and the shame of wanting more, as well as self-trust, conflict, rupture and what it means not simply to trust another person, but to risk trusting them.
Ultimately, this is a conversation about one of the central questions behind You Don’t Have to Abandon Yourself to Belong: How do we remain connected to other people without losing ourselves in the process?